Walter Miller Homepage

April 96 update--page 2 of 5

"Your all the crazy ones!"

As soon as the first one said 'We Love You', the old gristly basterd lost it. He sat there lauging at all of us in that hyena way of his. He lit up a cigaret an we tryed to make him stop. (It was a nonsmoking room). My dad tried to grab the cigaret an granfather threw him across the room with one wack of his hand. He laughed at all of us, caling us names. I started to cry and said: 'See? This is what i deal with everey day.'

We all have difoculties with him but my sister-inlaw realy hates him the most. She yelled back, and tryed to tell him off. Granfather yelled back, mostly laughin, mocking her, an makin horrid, peurile bodilly noises. Finally he made her cry too, an shes a strong, well-adjuosted person. That realy made him laugh.

PLAESE, Not the Laugh!

If theres one thing worse than granfather's scream, its his rawcous laughtor. His laugh will make plants die, I swear it. The sound is uniqueley identicol to animal tortoure. It sounds like the tapes of the rabitts being sloughtered that the FBI played real loud at the compuond in Waco to try to get the Branch Dividians to come out. Unles your regulerly exposed to it (like I am), one wicked chuckel or giggle from the old mutant will make you sleep with the lights on for a week.

Granftaher lit annother smoke up, this time a stinkey cigar. He annuonced that if anyone toutches him, hell call the cops an have them aressted for assualt. My fammily ended up geting charged allot of money becuase the hotel affectively lost a nonsmoking suite. They coudnt get the smell of smoke out (or the smell of HIM). It was permonnently ruined and had to be re-papered, plus new rugs.

One Down: the 1st Casuaulty

After just 5 minutes at the Happy Miller Family Reonion, the moderator got up, went to the toilet and threw up. Then she left. She said she wouldnt bill our family for the day, but would send another councilor. She sugested we all take the day off an reconveine with the new counsolor the next day.

Well, what would we do until then? It was just 11am. My sisterinlaw, my stepmom and I were too exausted to do anything. They slept in there rooms the rest of the day. Thank God, I too got a break from The Devvil's Spawn. I spend the day at the pool and the video game room.

But what could we do with granfather? He was screamin so loud he was a disruption so we coudnt take him to the pool (or Disnayland, or somplace like that). He has so much energy! We coudn't just leave him in his room either. Hed wreck the place. Plus, the noise an smell are so incredibel he had to get outside, and away from people.

How do you entortain a monster?

My brother wanted to rent a U-Haul truck, put him in the back, than just drive around Los Angeles for a few hours. Or rent a storage locker at one of those storage places an wheel him in an leave him locked there for a few hours. What he an my dad ended up doin was wheeling him up and down the airport service road and also the runway feilds so the smell of jet feul and the planes taking off drowned evrything out. Meanwhile, granfather ranted an raved, mumbled to himself, while creully insulting them. He seemed to be enjoyin his vacation.

That night, we all retirred to our rooms for fitfull sleep. All the rooms were connected by 2 way doors. Durin the day, these doors were open to make a suite for counselling sessions. At night, we shut the doors for seporrate rooms. My dad sharred the middle room with grandfather (Thank God I hada break!). Me an my brother stayed togethor on one side; My stepmother an sister inlaw shared the room on the other side. (Granfathers halfbrother, Uncle Zeke stayed in a cheap hottel nearby)

CONTINUED--what the mean old Basterd did next