Walter Miller Homepage

April 96 update--page 3 of 5

Sneakey, Craftey Basterd.

At first, granfather was on his best behavoir while sharring a room with my dad, in a feable atempt to confince him that I am a lier and have been lying about how bad he is. But during the night, granfather was up to mischif. My dad was exahusted and went to sleep at 8pm. As soon as dad was out, granfather got on the phone with room service an whispered in some orders to come at 7 in the morning for expensove foods an liqour to come room service to all of the rooms. It cost over $900. Then he turned on the cable box and ordered a filthey movie. Just when it was on long enough to be charged, he switched off an ordered another movie--and so on and so on, ALL NIGHT LONG. Boy those things add up.

Then he got the phoenbook and looked up the furthest places on the area Code map. He made random calls everyhere, then hanging up as soon as the number conected, so we'd get lots of big Hotel charges. Somehow he found the racing results in Trinnidad and Tobago-it's a direct dial from the US, with no opperator needed. The phone call goes to a loop of a tape recording. Granfather got a peice of soap an stuck it to the phone handset. Then he hanged-up the phone, propped on the soap so it LOOKED hanged up but was still realy connected. This way the tape recording kept looping over and over. He broke the phone so no one would hear anything either. He did this just before he went to sleep at 1 am. The phone stayed coneccted for 14 hours before someone noticed. Also he took all his and my dad's clothes and put them outside to be emergencey cleaned and pressed--you know what it costs.

Hes a crafty old basterd, and about 6 a.m. he took a wire hangar apart, bent it and chewed on it, and used it to pick the lock on the door that lead to the next room. He learnd how to do this in the Army. He was aressted once in the 1970s and picked the handcufs off before the cops coud even put him in the car. Hes a friggin' Houdinie. (THAT storey will come in a later update).

Family Reuinion Casualty number 2

When he got the door open GEUSS WHAT HE DID? You guessed it-he took a dump in my sisterinlaw's room. (Yes, useualy he need help to crap but when he realy wants to express hiself he can manage BELLIVE ME.) She cought the next plane up to where they live in Northorn California. i wont go into detailes, but my stepmom had to get another hotel room. My dad got charged for dammages to this room as well.

Later, a securrity man from the hotel examoned the wire hanger an said it had ben profesionaly machine milled. The truth is, granfather flatted and sharpenned it with his animal-like teeth. The man has rodent DNA.

Day 2--Things get Ugley

The next day the new councillor came. He was a big strapping man, and was very confronattional to granfather. This time granfather yelled back. Me and my dad had to restrane by brother--he was goin to hit granfather for being mean to his wife, an takin a dump in her room. Granfather said "Come on boy, I'll fight you." He spit at my brother and hacked pfglemm wads at him and on the counslor.

Again, we all started crying, even dad. But Uncle Zeke didnt. (Intervention aside, the only reason why he flew in from Delaware was becuase my granfather owwes him money.) He got up an walked over to granfather an caled him a mean old basterd. The two of them got in an viscous arguement.

I dont know who hit whom first but before you knew it they were toumbling on the floor fighting. Both men are skinney, muscullar, and strong as hell. Uncle Zeke is 10 years older, but much bigger, There was blood an snot and wirey hairs evereywhere. Even thouh granfathers in a wheelchair, hes olny 62 and is super-humanely strong. Personaly, I think granfather kicked his ass.

CONTINUED--dedicated tothe men & woman of law enforcment