Walter Miller Homepage

April 96 update--page 4 of 5

Huuh! Bad boys, bad Boys-HUUH! Whatcha Gona Do?

We coudnt break them up. We had to call the cops. Someone showed up with the cops with a videocamora. It was one of those cop shows. Althuogh, one of the cops told me that the video man told HIM that there was no way they were going to show the mean old basterd on TV-- not in Americon peoples homes. He was too hiddeous, and cursed too much so it probbaly coudnt even be editted. (This would be the first of 2 times in 1995 that granfather would be videotapped for a cop show--the second time would come 3 months later, back in our trailor in Texas. That one too, was not ready for prime time. Ill write about that eppisode in annother update once I have the stommach for it I promise).

Granfather an Uncle Zeke were isseud summonses. (Granfather got 2 sumonnses becuase he spit a spitstream threu his teeth at one of the cops). The hotel told us ONE MORE PROBLEM an we were all out of there on our ass.

Bad blood betwean brothers

Uncle Zeke an my grantfather dont get along. The 2 of them are quiet similor, but have been fueding--its a collectoble related dispute. Both have acccused the other for years of stealing an chaeting the other one out of collectibles. Its bizzare how similor they are. My uncle also has a big peice of proporty with lots of ricketty shacks and piles of the same kind of colectibles. (Obsessive colecting is a deap-grained fammly problem). My uncle is somewhat gruff, but not nearly, not REMOTELEY as mean, hiddeous and disgusting as my granfather.

They are half-brothers. They have the same mother. Oficial fammly history says she was a widdow who remarreid. But Uncle Zeke says that his younger brother's birth was likely atributed to when their mother was out in the woods one day an was atacked and inpreggnated by some sort of reptillian swamp monster.

This Counciling Session IS OVER

Well as soon as the cops left, the counciling session was imediately over. Uncle Zeke went back to his hotel. The moderator said SCRUEW THIS, and he left too. As soon as evereything simmered down, granfather lit up another cigarete an started cursing an scraeming at all of us. When hes real angrey, The entire whealchair shimmeys and shakes, then buonces rapidly upand down like a jackhammor--just like the bed post rattleing in the movie The Ecxorcist. The sound and sight is absoulutely frighteningly bald-faced demonaiacally suppernatural.

Granfathers scream can send chilles up your spine. He hits a certain cord in your brain and it makes that same affect as when you chew tinfoil or run your fingornials on a blackbaord.

More Junk for the Ride Home

We all agreed to meet WITHOUT GRANFATHER over dinner, Uncle zeke too. My uncle had a good idea: He said bring granfather to an auto parts junkyard, and pay them $200 to let him just wheel around and look at all the crap in the yard. So we found one in the yellow pages. Granfather was entertained, an even spent $45 there becuase he found a few hubcaps, old license tags and sparkplugs he didnt have at home. Even though the man at the junkyard got $245, he said it STILL wasnt worth it. Granfather scared the man's best attack dog. Now all the dog does is whimpor and bite his own ankels. The man said if we ever broght granfather back there, it would be a sign from God that he was to turn himself in to Imigration.