Legends in the Making

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I am told by this nice man there are 15,000 links to my pages. I thought it was olny a couple hundred. Anyway I get thuosands of fan e-mails each month. Here are stories based on a few interresting emails from people around the world who swear these walter Miller Home Page-rellated news items are true.

Who the hell knows. Im just glad i can use the title LEGENDS IN THE MAKING since we all know that my granfathers MAKINGS are LEGEND. Ha ha.

Well bellive it or not here they are:

Walter Miller Home page claims its first death

A 59-year old man in Midwestern US died in early August right in the middle of reading the April 96 update which aparantley was his favorite and hed read many times. His family wrote to me and said he was ill and was going to die in the next few years anyway but that since October when he saw my page on Worst Of The Web he was a regular reader. They asked me not to put his name or the state where it hapenned. They said he turned puorple from uncontrolable lauhgs and then fell off the chair of heart failore. The family thanked me for makin his last months the happyest of his whole life. Also he always wanted to write a fan letter and never did. This is the creepey part: His VERY last words were: HERES THE PART THAT KILLS ME...

Man Loses Job From Laughin Ass Off

Yes this is true. A System Analist in North Carolina wrote to say he coundt stop lauging from reading my page and was sent home. It was disturbin his co-workers over a few weeks time. When he came in the next day he went straight to the page again and had the same reatcion-he told me he was in tears. This hapenned in July. They told him that yesterday it was a warning and they were goin to have layoffs soon anyway and YOUR OUT ON YOUR ASS. The first note I got from the guy said WALTER IT WAS SO FUNNY IT WAS WORTH IT. Then he wrote again last week to complaine and also if I coud be his penpal. The guy sounds like a jerk.

Sillicon Valley company holds first Walt-Fest

A company had a sales meeting and they have one of these courporate audotoriums with the large screen on the stage. My page was shown half as a joke as an example of a quality site with probly lots of hits and the speaker said something like- IF THIS IDIOT GETS HITS WHY CANT WE GODAMMIT. After the meeting a lot of them stayed behind and they viewed the whole site and said evreryone was readin along with it laughin like crazy. Four people wrote me to tell about it but said it was a confidential meeting. Later a 5th person from the company wrote proffusely denying it. I dont think there ashamed of doing it - i think they just dont want to get sued for makin fun of me and are covvering their ass.

GOP Bigwigs Tune In, Turn On

Newt has seen Walter Miller's Home Page. I swear it. One of the young staffers in the Huose of Representatives showed it to him at a meeting of the internet Subcomittee. Suposedly Newt Ginrich was shown the page. He was standing up leaning over a staffers shoulder who was slowly scrolling it and Newt atcually said: "Ah. Very interesting." and smiled while he read it but said no other comments. BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT WAS GOIN ON IN HIS HEAD. Also a member of the Japanese Parlament wrote to me 2 times to say he read all the updates.
ANY OTHER FAMMOUS PEOPLE READING? Cristy Brinkley? Bob Barker? One of the Gore kids? Werner Klemperer? Yaphet Khotto? Arriana Houffinton? Don Hoe? The artist formerly known as Prince? IF SO PLEASE WRITE.

Cannadian youngsters put on Walter Play

A junior high in Canada had a talent show. The 2nd prize went to an adatpation of my story. A girl played granfather. In Scandonavia they read it outloud in a 5th grade class. The kids all laughed. I believe this was in Finland and there very morbid people always depresed so Im glad I coud brighten there day.

Dysfunctonal Family Reconciled

Three members of a Pensylvannia family with a divorce and 2 lawsiuts from a bad business deal brewing in the near future between them wrote to say THANKS WALTER because of your page we can all put aside our diferences and get along. They say they saw traits of granfather in all of them and walls of unforgivness hate and bitterness had fell betwean them. They invited me to visit but i declined as i do most offers.

Contineud: A REALLY Dysfunctonal Family Reconciled