Testifying without immunity since 1995
Page 1 of 6
Yes a few people have said they woud be glad to buy SPONCERSHIPS and also if I bring in any of these sponcorships myself, they will be glad to send a comission my way, in the form of a bigger cut. We still havent nailed down a time but unless things fall thruogh, this cartoon site might be up and running somtime in 1998.
This company will indeed host my pages free of chardge under an enployee directory so there may be a NEW URL for my pages in a few months. Many thanks to all of those whove offored to host my pages. I deeply apreciate it. When I do move, I will give you plentey of warning time to update your bookmarks. YES NO MORE POP-UP ADS.
Also, in this State, a counselor is not allowed to be romanticly involved with a pateint. Once she found out how much i liked her (yes, more than just puppy love) she had to resign from being my counslor. This made things worce because in admiring her integritty, plus being separated from her made me like her MORE.
Yes i know its pathettic.
There has ben a longstanding argument with my new councilors and also my family over wether or not this was LOVE or just a boyhood crusch bruoght on by the loss of my mothor in early adolesence and the atachment disorder displaced upon her. But they are all wrong cause it was REALY TRUE LOVE.
OK, enuogh of that sanctimonoius Freudian crap. It is time to get on with the chronnicol of my pittiful life.
The reason why I did this (insted of looking for my romance online), is because there are ALLOT of weird people on the internet.
Yes with the peoplle you meet online, you never know if you are getting a GUY or not whose just pretending that hes a girl.
Plus there are womon out there in the wired crowd who just like to mess with your head. Just remmember, 'wierd' is an anagram for 'wired'. (no offence to WIRED magazine.)
You know folks, while Ive had only one true love over the years, i too have had breif, fleeting atractions to a bevy of online cuties: There is music legend Jewel. Writer Mary Williems. HTML how-to author Laura Lamay. Also Patti Mais and Kim Polese, (no redblooded geek has a short list withuot THESE two mamas.) Even i admit, the babe known as Ester Dyson. And MABYE Ann Winnblad (smart and rich, even though I once swore to myself that lips that touched Bill Gates will never toutch mine).
And yet, when i look back at them, realizing that my atraction to them fleeted just as fast, I wondor: Is their status as online celebrities what made me like them? Woud I have liked Ms. Maes and Ms. Polese if, say, insted of their internet industry sucesses, they were right here in my own backyard, slinging hash and serving up the liqiud form of java as blue collor working-class gum-snapping, Texas-drawling waitresses in the truckstop down by the State Route ramp?
Uh, the answor is a resounding HELL YES. But that is beside the point. The point is, I do not want the afections of anothor to be based on my online persona. Or for that matter to be from women feeling sorry for me.
Well they do not come to ours because the delivory man was thretenned once by Granfather who pointed a shotgun at him. So when we go to the Mini-Mart in our town, we always pick one up cause theres always a stack of them there.
Of course no one laughs cause he says the same disgousting joke each week. As usual during the ride home the old bastord reads all the ads out loud, and this time he said "LOOK BOY, PERSONALS."
Well sure enuogh there WAS personal ads that I never noticed before and most of the people placing them were WOMON. Well I thoght abuot answoring some, but insted decided to write my own. It took me a long time strouggling at home, and so i ended up writing a few diferent versions:
The onley thing i lied abbout in the above ad is where i said i was slim. I am much skinnier than slim. To my shame it has been said i have no ass.
The honest aproach:Single white man early 20s, slim, over 6' originaly from California seeking womon for freindship, love and who knows MABYE MORE!! I enjoy Star trek, Babilon 5, J. R . Tolkin, Sienfeld, computor games, and configuoring modem strings. Any age or race considored. Looks or wieght are not inportent to me so I hope there not inportent to you. I am a PC user. (Macintosh devotees welcome, but please, no fanatics.) Looking in (XXX) area code only, in these 3 phone numbor exchanges only: XXX, XXX and XXX -- (it's a long story.) Reply to Box XXXX.
A freind of mine actually told me that the above ad is a way to get ALLOT of replies, except they will be repleis from codeppendent women seeking their next chalenging project.
The desperate aproach:I WILL TAKE ANEYONE. Pleas dont make me spent annothor Valentiens Day alone. If you snap your gum or blow smoke in my face or nag me in public that is OK with me. I am desperrate. I am emotionnoly imature. Plus I am unexpereinced with womon. (I am also the type who experiecne will probly not inprove me). I will surely be alergic to your perfume and if it is Lair Du Temps you canbe certain i will vomit. I am lactose intolorent. I know only 3 jokes and youve probly already heard them. I run out of things to say after 10 minuts; (inteligent things after 30 secends) As a youngstor, I was the last child picked for the kickball team. Today i am the first one picked for layoffs. If interested in an unconfortble evening full of painfuly shy one word answors and awkword glances please reply...
I almost went with this one. But I think this type of ad really will get me the type who snaps her gum and blows smoke in my face. Besides i dont think i want a womon who likes "FREINDS" as much as me.
The Humoruos aproach:ROSS SEEKS RACHEL Uh-oh, it looks like Chandler and Joey have left the apartment just to us! Let me be your "Central Perk". Yes who knows if we will end up as more than just "FREINDS". Squeeze me in betwean 7 and 7:30 central time to the channel of LOVE.
I ended up going with the first ad in case you want to know. I will let you know how it turns out in my Mid-Febuary update becuase I got 3 replies and i have 3 dates for the week beffore Vallentines Day!!!
The suave aproachMULDER SEEKS SCULLEY You: Demure, atractive, and sohpisticated. Me: Consumed with worldwide conspiracies involving govorment experiments, biologicol warfare and the coverup of extraterestrial beings. You: Skepticol. Even a little pissed. Me: Gullible. Needing your levelheadedness to countor my torturred soul. You: (breathily whisporing to me in a quizzicol, sexy pout), "Mulder, what are you sugesting?" Me: WHOO BABY THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE! REPLY TO FIND OUT...