For art's sake. I think.
Page 3 of 6
Being in the office that day was just as unconfortoble as being at home, but i am glad i went -- glad becuase I found out what my pain in the ass boss, the little anoying codependent toadfaced woman was demoted to. Get this: My boss still keeps her (I think its) 50K a year salery, but they told her she had to be a workstation support persen. Yes, workstation support.
They always bust people down, but only do they bust people down this low when they cannot take the hint to JUST LEAVE.
It is a real houmiliation because before she came here from Corporate she was a second-line manager which means that othor mannagers reported to her. They she got squeazed out of there to come to Cyberblop. And now she is demoted agian. Presumabley so she will just leave out of enbarasment. Plus she dosent know a danm thing about workstattion suport. Oh well. I guess its up to the experts to run the compeny, not me.
I replied, (i admit in sort of a haughtey way), "Well I will listen to it first and then i will delete it. And she said, "Mabye I will just delete it myself."
You know i am tired of people's atittudes around here. Anyway the message was from the guy I Second Day Aire'd my resume to. He had a low, soft voice and I had to listen to the messege like 8 times before I coud figoure out what he was saying. I pressed the phone to my ear and turned the volume on high and when i finaly got his number to call him back my ear and face were wet from sweat and makeup of this creepy persen who usualy uses my cube on Wendsdays.
Anyway geuss what: He says that he can squeeaze me in for an hour later this afternoon. So I imediatly call him up and he is even more softspokon than ever. He starts givin me directions to where he lives and I said I do not WANT to go where he lives, but to his office. So he says to me, this is the ONLY place we can meet becuase they are renovating the ofice, besides it is the day before a holiday. He was a litle snippy in a sofspoken sort of way and I do not think I got off on the right foot.
So i was all readey to leave when in the hallway turning a corner I bumped into my boss. I literaly bumped into her. She was with this othor guy, Combover from payroll. Both of them were carryin these big black binders. They tried to hide the spine of the binders as they picked them up, but I coud see written on the egde it said:
Yes they were bolth being pushed out of there cushior, higher up jobs and this is what they had to do now. I am not normolly a persen who gets exited, but I said to her, "Geuss what!!! I have an interview with your freind for today!!"
So she gives me this scowl, even more extremly tight a scowl than I ever saw her do before, and she says, "WHO said you coud take time off?" And then I said, "I am not even schedulled to work this day: It is the day beffore Thansgiving."
And then she said, "Efective until Monday the 30th, I still AM your boss." And then Combover said, "Yes, and until then I am still in Payroll and you will not be payed for this day."
I started to protest and becuase I was ecxited to begin with my voice cracked. So I was too afraid to protest. But I shoud of said somthing becuase this persen who was so nice to me and saying I had talent just a short time ago goes on this tirade now abuot how my writing is silly and the bad mispelings are getting lame, (OK, some of them are NOT on purpoce -- I realy am a bad spellor), and that toilat humor is NOT funny anymore. And she enbarased me infront of Combover too, who I do not even realy know. A big problom in my life is standing up for myeself.
I stopped in a big store that you probly know the name of but I am too enbarassed to give you the name of and boght one of those sports jackets without the liner inside plus one of those shirts withuot a coller. The whole thing cost less than $40 but it wasnt so bad becuase I need to buy dress clothes anyway. (And you didnt even know they sold clothes).
The guy I had the interveiw with lived in one of these brandnew neighborhoods with giant oversized houses and big grassy lots with allot of willow trees and pissy lookin homemade ponds everywhere. Plus they always name the streets such stupid names.
I liked it bettor when they named roads by numbers or trailor lots. I think people are much more stupider today than they were in the olden days.
Anyway I arive at this giant ugly thing that looks like Barbies Dream house on sterroids and pull in the long curved driveway. Its windy and humid and not even Thanskgiving yet but theres Christmas deccorations up on about 20 persent of the houses. This is what hapens I imagine when people have too much spare time and money and land on thier hands.
Sudenly this big freindly Great dane dog with a fancey coller about the size of a pony runs up to the car even beffore I get out and is scratchin at the doors and driver side window like crazey with his big long nails on the nice black finish. Junoir's car is this 1988 black Mercurey that has like, 9,000 miles on it and is in perfict condition. I was so pissed. Have you ever seen a dog the size of a pony. He was a beutiful burnished coppor colored rippled musculor dog.
I go up and ring the doorbell and the danm dog folows me blockin my path and bounding allover me with his big paws and tounge. I ring the doorbel and it is one of those anoying fancy chimes. My anoying pain in the ass boss's freind answors the door. And it was kind of enbarasing because the dog was jumpin all over me when he opened the door. And right after he openned the door the dog, who seemed happy to see him, bounded into the house.
My boss's freind was realy young, like mabye 25. He looks VERY pretentious.
He is wearin this silk bathrobe with a PDA in the top pocket and two (not one, two) beepers atached to the bathrobe. He looked like the support guy for the computter system for Hugh Hefner's swiming pool.
I think, somtimes, that certian people, allot of people atcualy, (atleast in this industry) carry allot of beepers and PDAs and stuff clipped to themselves so that they get atention payed to them as being thoght of as someone cool. Well anyway atleast I do.
The guy seemed a little anoyed at my being there. I dont know what it was, but I just felt he was anoyed.
"So do you want somthin to drink?" he says to me. I said, "I will have whatever you are having." He said, "I am not having anything."
So I said I am sorry.
We went into the dining room to sit down. The house was large and emptey and imaculately clean. Every noise and whispor resounded like the echo in a church. The dog was scamperring around all over the place, going over to lick me, and then licking my host, and then licking me agian. This was probly one of the ten biggest dogs Ive ever seen in my life. He romped arround the house with his big silvery colored nails, each the size of a giant string bean scratchin on the new glossy wood floor.
So, when i asked him about himself and his acomplishments he breifly got talkative.
He rambolled on (really more whining than rambling) about how he just flew in from Europe doing businness and also the West Coast, and the East coast.
Thats the funny thing about people in this industrey. There's no shortege of peopple who will tell you how great he is. In fact he didnt tell me much about his business at all. Just how many danm flights he's been on recently.
And how this house, (that he repeated 3 times that he owns), was such a mistake because of how danm big it is.
"Its too big," he sighed, in dejectad, despondent defeat.
The dog, who was begining to be a distraction, was panting loudley right behind me. My host interuppted his own whiny monotone breifly, and pointing, said agitatingly, "Make sure he stays off the rug!"
I turned arround to see the giant dog lounging on the border of the wood floor of the dining room and the imaculate white rug of the living room.
"Over here, boy!" I said, and the huge musculor dog obedientley padded toword us, and curled up queit. I swear this dog was gargantuan. His butthole was the size of a postcard at least and his giant balls looked like one of those sacks of Brownsville grapefriuts you buy on the side of the service road and they bounced and bobbolled as he clickity-clacked past the parquet floor on his long dog nails.
"How do I know you agian?" said the guy, wrinkling his nose for effect.
And then I mentionned my pain inthe ass boss.
"And what can I do for you agian?" he said, seeming still more anoyed, and even a litle sarcastic.
I clearred my throat and told him that I had allot of talents and that I coud make a good contribution to his organizattion.
He answored, even more sarcasttic, "Oh, really!"