Walter Miller Homepage

"Walter spells worse than anything found in English on an Israeli menu." -- Jerusalem Post Internet Edition Mon. 12/2/96

Decembor 1996 Update

Page 1 of 7

First to clear something up:
Yes i am real.

Many people ask if Walter Miller is real. The answor is YES. I AM real. I know I am real. I know this beucause I am touching myself right now. (But Iam NOT touchin myself in THAT way). you know what i mean. And before we get into this months update:

secondly a clarofication:

It shoud be noted here that in a recent update (November) i wrote how my grandfather and i traveled from Texas to New york. In that update said that we traveled separately. That is true. But also I said that granfather traveled in a gorilla carier and was shipped by truck. While i stick to that account of what hapenned as my interprotatoin of the truth It is the opinion of the abbove mentoined that he traveled separatly by human passenger coach airfare. Thank you.

And now, for this months update

There was lotsof good responce to my Top Ten list on granfathers least favourite newscastors. But as coud be expectorrated around here a few fellow Texans asked me to fowward their disagreament to granfather on what he said about Dan Rathor. Sorry but i have to agree with grampy which is usualy a rare ocassion. Sorry but Dan Rathor acts weird. A coupel of days before the election he started the news off with this excact quote: "President Clinton was as relaxed as a pound of liver." And people say that I say dumb things.

Well anyway im goingto write MORE Top 10 lists an coming soon on there will be more. Im not promosing anything but you may see on these pages in months to come: "Ten least Known Facts about Granfather", and perhaps "10 Famous Woman who have Rejected Granfathors Rommantic Advances" (BELEIVE me theres more than 10 but these are the most famuous women) and mabye even "Top 10 Reasons that give Sceince Proof that Granfather is an Alein." Thanks for all your e-mails.

Well me and the old beast just returned from Comdex. My employor in Austin who i work for by remmote modem was goingto pay my airfare and expenses to go for one long day but not a hotel. I wanted to stay atleast 2 days. This is why granfather came.

I did NOT want to take him but the olny reason I did was cuase he booked a hotel in Los Vegas a LONG time ago and I think we stayed for free cause once years ago granfather dropped a small fortune in there casino. (It was ALLOT of money). At least thats what he said. Hes a big liar and maybe he did pay for our room. But hes a cheap basterd so mabye it was the truth. Atleast i didnt have to pay for a room and thats what convinced my employor to let me go.

Granfather asked me not to mentoin which hotel we stayed in. But heres a hint: its the one withthe desert theme where they held AdultDex on the corner of the strip and Sahara Ave. (Try to figore it out.)

What i did at Comdex

My job was to run errends for people in the booth: pack boxes get lunch and run up to the rooms. Yes it was houmiliating. At onetime before I made mistaks that destroyed my life i was a bigshot in the internet industrey. Im seroius. Dont beleive the crap you read elswhere: I am the person who first coyned the phrase "INTRANET." YES it was a acidental misspelling from a former job in a formor life but somthing deep in my mind made me spell it that way and when some othor people first saw the word writen down it clicked in there mind.

The rest, as they say, like the scars on granfathers ass those faint ghoasts of lanced and drained boils past, is historey. DOES WALTER V. MILLER GET CREDIT FOR IT. HELL NO.

There was a time in my yuoung life when I got to go to Condex to demo cool stuff and do other cool things. But now as a errend boy I was lower than a Booth Bunny. It wasnt even for my own company--I was on loan to another company cause my boss is freinds with the boss of this other company. Of cuorse granfather teased me about it callin me THE WORLDS YUONGEST HAS-BEEN AT COMDEX.

First to let you know whats been going on at Plaesant Miller Acres. The tension betwean me and granfather is growing. The paragrapgh above titled Secondly a clarofication is somthing he threatoned me to put up there. Hes outraged i described him as such a friggin animol. But i call em as I see em. The few weeks leadin up to comdex were very hard for me. Heres why:

The old disgosting girlfriend is back