Walter Millers Home Page

"By the way, if you haven't figured it out already, Walter Miller's Home page is a bunch of crap. It looks crappy, the authenticity is crappy and the grandfather is a crappy bastard."
-- Ibid, (Daily Pennsylvanian, prior screen)

Feb 97 Update

Page 4 of 8

Youll never geuss what was stuck on the door when we got home: A letter sayin Granfather was gettin SUED.

Its About the Dogs

I promised a longtime to write about HIS DOGS avoiding it till now. Many people write me things like: SAY WALTER you bitch & moan allthe time but Grampy sounds like a nice funny guy.

Yes theres a enchantinly humorus repulsive charm I guess for those who dont havto change his diapor. (Or use a lock handle wrench, freon spray and boxcutter on the old him: the 3 tools needed to lance boils off his ass.) If you like Gramps NOW, you wont after readin THIS. Theres a specail place in hell for this man. Also i belive its time to insert my regulor warning weve become acustomed to especily for those now at work on lunch break:


We have 14 dogs, all Sheperd mixes. Yes, they get vegetables only as granfather beleivs it makes them lean & mean for the red meat of potental trespasors.

Some ofthe dogs are named Nemo, Regis, Spike, Snowball, Janet, KathiLee, Morris, Baldy, Wilson and DriveBy. I forget the other names. One dog has no name at all. Whenever gramps sees him his fists grip togethor screamin at the top of his lungs with his teeth clenched shut makin a noise like this: "Rrrrrhhhh!" and he turns purple, trembles & veins stick out on his head an the whole wheelchair shakes. He realy hates that dog. I know there was a reason at onetime but nether he or i remeber why. So we call that dog: "Rrrrhhh!"

Meet the Pooches

Wilsons missing an eye. Janet lost a back leg in a acident & hops around the yard but suffers no worse from wear. Spike has harmless fatty tumors all over his body--hes the Elophent Man of dogs. Snoball--somthin BAD hapened to him--keep readin this update. Baldy, well, while all these dogs are patchy, (Nemo and DriveBy are 60% furless), Baldy has no hair at all. Its like a danm shaved dog. His face looks like a neoprene Holoween mask of a Roswell Grey Alien. The rest of the dogs are prety much hard to tell from eachother.

An important preface

Now hear this: The dogs are NO LONGOR bein abused. Atleast not in the eyes of the law--Aparantly its NOT aganst the law to feed dogs only vegetebles--you just must add things to it to aid digestion. And for the past year hes been doin so & the dogs are healthior.

The county came after the old monster for animol abuse MANY times--once because of me. Its amazing: His abuse of animals gets more nosy citozen action than his abuse of ME & also my dad before me. Well thats a wholeother issue i wont get into now.

I finked on him 2 years ago. Below is a letter I wrote--He got in ALOT of truoble after it plus it caused much bad blood. Spineless person i am i coudnt confront Granfater directly. I dont like confrontation: Im better at sharing fealings hid behind a computer typing words. It was a mistake--i shoud of went to GRANFATHER first--I know.

Dear Sir:

I am Walter Miller the grandson of

Mr.________ who lives at ____________ you alredy

know. Im writin this letor to complane about my

granfathers abuse of his dogs.

Most the time for food they get 3 main items--

tomatos, corn (mostly husk & cobbs atached) and also

onions often whole. Its suplemented by okra watormelon

rind, lettice, beans pumkins an weeds. He gets the

vegtables very cheap from a grocer he knows in

__________ County. Its often half-rotted.

Im sure youcan geuss results. Sir to be blunt The dogs

crap all day at sustianed velocity. If there facing the

shed with there ass pointed toword the barn they coud hit

the barn from there. Youv been to our place & KNOW HOW FAR

THAT IS. They whimpor & shiver all day long cause they

know somthins wrong with their diet. An hour each day

atleast I am shovelin dogdoo in piles. YES IM BEIN


I know as a result of a compromize & reduced

jugdment for imfractons in 1991 & 93 hes suposed

to feed them cornmeal plus vitomins & eggs to stop

this. But insted hell add SAND an flour. It clumps

and the dogs cry becuase there ass hurts.

Also MY GRANFATHER will eat those raw eggs also the

dog vitamins himself.... I ask: WHOS THE ANIMOL?

Punishment: Granpy inthe Dog House