All day granfather digs under his clotthes and picks assourted hairs all over his body an pulls them out an flicks them at me. Mostly there pubbic haires. I told my famly in Califonia this an they dont bellieve me. They think its chest hair and were havving a big argumment by e-mail. I oferred to tape some to paper and mail it to them to prove it-they said NO THANKS. Granfather atcualy doesnt have humman hair-its stiff bristely hair like in the movie The Fly that Jeff Goldbloum had on his back an his wife hadto clip off with a wirecutter.
Theyre hiddeous wirey hairs: curly, strait and even sometines bent at 90 degree angels (which is humanly-imposible), an have big white bulbs onthe bottom. I find these greusome biollogical monstrousities in my food, my bed, my sock draw, my toothbruch an my keyboard all put there ON PURPOSE. He flicks them on the computer screan and knows theyll stick due to stattic electricty.
Grancfather often gets bugs an fleas. Ill sprey him with Raid right on his head an skin. I tell him its Desennex-he has varriegated flakey ringworm and infectuous sebborea, so hes used to bein sprayed. But allhe does is shut his eyes andput out the cigarate--he dosent even notice its Raid. I usedto use lice soap but the man who owns the drugstore in our town wont let me in becuase he remembers my mean an nasty granfather whan he was a kid. Like me, hes still affraid of him. Hes also afraid Ill track lice in his store becuase I live with him. I never got lice from granfather-well once i did at age ten. I cant begin to tell ofthe discrace hes broght to our fammly.
Today i deal with his lice by buying insecticiddal sheap dips from agrrocultre supply over the web--evrey 2 weeks the old son ofa Bich gets a once over with a boarhead brush an the hose. Even thogh it says "Not for Use On Humans" the doctor said OK what the hell it doesnt harm him.
The doctor also says granfather isthe closest living gennetic equal of somthing that would be born as a result of the love scene inthe movie Delliverance.
I can deal with the gross stuff but my granfathers creulty outright borders on demonic. Hes repulsivvely hourny. One day Melrose place was on. He thouhgt he was watching a HBO movie or at least a Shotime film rated NC-17. He got angry beccause he kapt waiting for Jane or Ammanda (or atleast Sidney for Gosds sake) totake her clothes off. I heard him scraeiming inthe other room. I thouhgt hewas having a hart attack. When I came in he blamed me and hit me with his cane on my kneacap where he knows i was injored once. He told me i beamed somekind of filter on the sattelite dish from my computer that censered woman who should be nakad. How stuppid can you get?
A similar thing hapened a month ago. A church sent over a box of stuff as charity for the shut-in and eldarly. In there was one ofthose books on tape--The Bridges of Madisen Conty. Iwas outside feedin the dogs while for an hour the stupid basterd kept tryin to jam the casette in the 8-tract player while cursin and scraeming. Finaly I put itin the casette player forhim. He made me stay there withhim. As you know its not a long book. He could tell a love scene was comin up--but not fast enough. He yeled at the top of his slimy lungs an called the photograher a vegatarrian fagot and other awfull things about how he shoud ravvish the woman soon and all these nasty things that he woud be doing to her if it was him inthe farmhouse with her. Well he couldnt wait sohe made me fast fowward it. Like i said its not a long book so he kept acuseing me of going past the dirty parts an then made me backup again and agan. He just asummes everythin is pourno. He grabed the closest thing-an old alunimmum ice tray. Each time I rewound the tape he hit me with it. I got hit abbout 8 times. I began to cry-not from pain but hummiliation. Well thats it for now. If i dwell on this too much Ill throuw up. Also Ill lose readership. Thanks everyone for bein out there. A new update is comin next month.
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