My front hallway. 1989	My front porch. 2009

   Greetings and welcome to my inane, narcissistic website, listed by Netscape as one of the "Top 3,859,670 most popular websites on the entire Internet" (or, internets as a moron might call it.)  WOW!!  I'm a sensation!!  (Click that "What's Related" button up there in the corner and see for yourselves!)

    So, now that you're here you're probably wondering "Who the hell is this guy?"  Maybe you're thinking "This website sucks!"  Perhaps you're saying "This is not my beautiful wife!"  Well, you are correct about those last two but as for the first one, I wrote up a little something you're gonna have to go read titled Who I am and what I've been doing lately that I think is a nice little introduction to Your's Truly.  If you don't like this I doubt very much you will like the rest of the junk on this site so please, go now and leave the rest of us alone.  Thank you.

      Not that I understand why you would like any of it to begin with . . .

SPEAKING OF WHICH . . .

Contained within these pages are all kinds of crazy crap, including but not limited to:

    Short Stories  I've written (pretty funny but basically inane),

    Some college papers I wrote during my many, many years in college (go ahead and use 'em if you need 'em, I got real good grades on most of these-- I'll let you figure out which ones),

    and the WORLD FAMOUS . . .

    IDIOT REPORT, my cheesy little internet newsletter I send out to a bunch of unsuspecting fools who signed up thinking they were gonna get something worth reading!  Recently taken over by monkeys with computers, they aren't as good as they used to be.  Still, they're not bad.  Considering monkeys wrote 'em.

      Also . . .

    Get "Nekkid" and "The Beer Song"! and a bunch of other great songs!  Mp3s of my classic tunes, download 'em and CRANK 'EM UP (more to come)!  Go to my download page and get your own copies!  Free to the world, get 'em while they're hot!

    Speaking of which, get out yer guitar and sing along!  Check out some songs I wrote!  Totally mindless but a lot of fun anyway!

      Virginia Ganther, where are you?

      Hey, help me pad my website with more POINTLESS CRAP!  Go to my Feedback & Fan Mail page, send in whatever you want and maybe I'll post it up there.  See what all my adoring fans have to say!  Pandering is welcome!

     Here's the piece of crap ship I was on when I was in the navy, the USS Brooke.  Also known as the "Broke Dick Brooke" 'cos it was broken half the time.  A source of great pride.

    Check out the awesome little cottage I used to live in, right smack dab on the Gulf of Mexico!

      Speaking of crap, I moved a bunch of old crap over to my archives!  I just moved my CD Collection Page into there, I was going to update it every month but that never happened, changed it maybe three times over twenty months, that's all.  Too lazy.  (Ya' know, not everything works.  I try, I write up a whole bunch of stuff, I stick it up here and see if anyone reads it.  Some of the stuff they do, some of the stuff they don't.  After a while it all ends up in here, the EXCEPTIONALLY MUNDANE, this is sorta like purgatory for them, one step before the eternity of "Delete Button Hell".)

    And hey, just so you know, this website looks GREAT on Netscape 4.7 or higher with 1024 x 768 resolution and a zillion billion colors!  Also, keep your monitor clean, no sneezes or anything like that on it.  Easy on the eyes, nice to read.  Go check out this totally useless page containing every single image up here on my website!  Serves no purpose whatsoever and it takes a long time to load.  Oh boy!

      Check back often, there's always something new going on!

PARENTAL ADVISORY -- CONTENT WARNING:

Be advised, these pages all contain a lot of "questionable" language (lots of naughty words) and some very, VERY bad ideas!  According to this guy, my website is...

Only 41%?  Hmm, I'd have thought it rated higher.  I write a lot about DRUGS and the joys of ALCOHOL ABUSE, occasionally some SEX (ooh, that oughtta grab a couple of you), every now and then I write about throwing up or going to the bathroom or something (tho' I try to keep that to a minimum but sometimes I get bored and have nothing else to write about), plus I write quite a bit about POLITICS (for instance, this rude little poem I wrote about Ronny Reagan's urinalysis)!!  I'm also hip on Aristotelian Philosophy (you know how subversive THAT can be), Bob Dylan and razzing those damn Republican bastards!  Also, I am an equal-opportunity offender, eventually I'm bound to piss off everyone.  Finally, I'm a Deadhead and damn proud of it!

Sooooooooo, don't say I didn't warn you!

Enjoy browsing around and email me at maybeyeah@yahoo.com.  Not as crazy about email as I used to be, you may or may not hear back from me.  But write me anyway, I love getting mail.  I read all of it, write something stupid or give me a hard time and I'll publicly berate you and post it up here for everyone to read (I reserve that right!).  Flatter me or say something nice and I'll post that, too!  Maybe.  I don't update this thing so much anymore.

(Please, no marriage proposals!  Been there, done that, NO thank you!)

        Rock 'n Roll Lyric of the Week--

                            Mona Lisa musta had them highway blues
                            You can tell by the way she smiles

Copyright © 1982 thru 2008 Dave's Brain.  All rights reserved.
No material contained on this site may be republished or reposted without expressed written permission.