Walter Miller Homepage
As Popeye says 'I YAM WHAT I YAM' but on the Internet who the hell knows what that means)

Mid-Janaury 1997 Update (Main Section)

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tHIS uPDATE COMES TO YOU in severol parts that branch from this page. Dont worrey you wont get lost cause Im not smart enuogh to design elabrate branching. At the end of each section youl come right back to this page.

The several parts of the update are:

Click here for the

Year End Wrapup
Many thanks to all

Click here for

Coming Clean for the new year
Like the freaeks at the circus GRANFATHER is usualy the big draw around here--but this is a confesion from YORES TRUELY

Click here for

Specail Sci-Fi Feature: Yes anothr gramps-related top 10 list
Other than egoshatering codependancy one thing i cant get enuogh of is Sceince fitcion. (Although with The Beast around I think I DO get enuogh of it or at least spine chilling crap-in-your pants sceince FACT.)

Hangin in my room is that poster you always see on the X-files in Muldors office that says: I WANT TO BELIEVE. My copy is heavoly stained with brown and yellow spots (not just tobbaco but OTHOR liqouds too of varying viscossities) all from GUESS WHO and on the poster in red majic markor i wrote some words on it so it reads "I WANT TO BELIEVE ITS NOT TRUE".

sO READ IT NOW OR READ IT LATER. oR JUST CLick nothing an keep reading this page which is the begining of my Main Update section:

The Continiung Saga of my misorable Life

Hope your holidays were good or atleast better than mine. I went home on Dec 27 and granfather didnt come back till the 30th. Bythe way granfathers girlfreinds poor mixedup kid who olmost OD'ed on Christmos eve will be OK and not have any permonant brain damage. Not that there was none to begin with. (OK that was mean).

My few days without granfather were great and worth it while it lasted. But as soon as he came back hes been pretty cranky.

Should Awful fragrance be forgot...

Anytime the old gristly basterd is away the stink sort of lifts from the area surounding our trailor. Also, and this is very odd but when granfather is GONE after 72 hours we get mold and mildue on certian non-porruous houshold surfaces--and when hes here we NEVER get mold and mildoo.

I think thats because the old trolls ovorwhelmingly rancid odor normally kills all simple fungal orgonisms in the close vincinity. Im seroius. Penicillin based meddications are useless in our home as it loses its power even in an airtite medocine bottle when within the scent of him. My mother used to bake allot but when granfather came to visit us the bread JUST WOUDNT RISE. I bet the danm E.P.A. has a secret file on him under "Unexplanied Olfactorey Anomaly"

"Attaboy, Walter"

The above is a phraise I hear from those around me, Oh, I geuss about as often as perhaps, phrases like "NO I NEVER THOHGT MICHEAL JACKSONS WEIRD WHY DO YOU THINK SO?"

My first week of the new Year stunk but it ended on a great note Im so proud of: Walter Miller's Home Page just got a Attaboy! Award in its selection by the Houston Chronicle 1/5/97 as BEST PERSONAL HOME PAGE OF THE YEAR for 1996. And that means of the whole internet not just Texas. There was only 7 other winners in this particulor article including Excite as Best Seartch Engine and Wall St Juornol as Best News Site beating out CNN. Exite beat out Altavista which was 1st runner up so you know the comptition was tough. Even was a runnerup as Best Commercial Site losing to Berkeley Systems' You Don't Know Jack Netshow.

I GEUSS MY CRAPPY RINKYDINK HOM PAGE IS IN GOOD COMPANEY cause i cant even imagine how many homepages are out there.

Im happy too cause the women I love (my former counslor) i think still lives in Houston and you know she probly read it inthe paper and was inpressed. That is if her idoit boyfreind dosnt blow his nose in the newspaper and throw it away first. I saw him do it once. Maybe shell now change her mind about me. Well mabye not.

Of cuorse every silver cloud has a brown lining (and anywhere granfather sits around our house has one made of rubber) and since the Attaboy! in the Chronicle the old basterd dont you know it (plus his lawyor) has begun seriusly riding my ass about him gettin 25% instaed of 20% of proceads from my book--and its not even sold yet!. Can you believe HE claims credit for the sucess of MY hompage? Arrogent old S.O.B that he is.

The Dawn of Huemans