YES I ADMIT I tried to vote multipple times. If you do this it brings you to a 'sorry' page. But the funneist part is that the SORRY page has 2 glaring typoes on it. IT SEEMS IM NOT THE OLNY ONE MAKKING TYPOES ON THE INTERNET.
GO TO COOL SITE OF THE DAY NOW and try votting twice for today's site and see for yourself. Also see me archivved on 4/8/97.
Big misteak, Id say. The kid dutyfuly started readin and upon reaching a particulorly graphic and revealing granfather-related passage, the whole class was gripped with hysterrics including the teacher. Two of the girls (one of them asmatic) began hyporventilating and 3 other children peed there pants. The teacher got in truoble.
Please undorstand that my homepage is enjoyed best in the privacey of ones home or else on those longstretch afternoons at work. Which brings us to...
In sort of a PG-13 rated version of the childs game Simon Says, all verbol comunications must be at the top of ones lungs, in a rurol Texas acent, and with a cigar or cigaret cletched tight in ones teeth. If its not, the othors IGNORE the person speaking.
On rotating Fridays, one of them has to be "Walter" and CLEAN IT ALL UP. (The guy who owns the business is the only one who dosnt have to be Walter--that figuores). What i feel worst about is that 3 of the 4 have took up smoking and tobaco chewing which are bad habits.
The man also wrote to say that he is havin some personol problems with his marrage which he claims are unrelated to his new hobby.
Cheapor-priced, Non-trademarked pirated Clapper ripoffs from the Far East dont work as well as the real McCoy. Prime practice hours (atleast for him) are 6 pm to 9pm After a few months of acoustic study, a small paper meggaphone fixed to the clappor is determined to NOT be cheating, as its purpose is not to amplifiey sound but to screen out urban noise polution Finding the best stimulants; (a meal of freid vegtebles and choclate do it best for him) losing 18 pounds for his effarts, the man can now complete the event from 10 feet on a northbound clapper, albeit bare-assed and facing south, with the paper megaphoene adjusted at a 61 degree angle.
A man in the Nethorlands wrote to say that his neighbor had an eldorly father, whose family was intending to have their doctor "put him to sleep." It seems the Dutch do this sort of thing allot and think nothing of it. (While some of us in the USA think of it ALLOT). The old gentleman suffered from deep depresion and just hung around all day and probly even secretly wished it woud happen.
Then his 13-year old granduaghter got involved. While some of us dream for a sitaution like this, she outraged at the thuoght. She printed out pages of my Home Page and she and her granfather read them together. Aparantly everyone speaks English in Holland.
As can be expected the old guy luaghed his wrinkled old ass off. Within a few weeks he was pretty perked up. He used to tend a garden and also have a cat and he expressed interest in doing those things again. The neighbor (who wrote to me) asked the young girl what changed the old man and then she told him about my site.
Well anyway i have wrote about how somtimes I leave granfather in a warm bath of harsh industriel chemicols for several hours on end. The exasporated family of a cantankorrous old fellow in New South Wails Australia afectionatly known as "The bloody bleedin bastard" was placed, (acording to a note from his son inlaw), in a bath of bicarbonate of soda and water for 4 hours. He didnt sufer pain but they say he was extremly wrinkoled and even when he dryed out was permonantly shrunk 3 inches in height.
Ive said it before folks: All stunts on Walter Miller's Home page are performed by a profesional monster, (and a profesional monster-handler--ME), on a closed track: DO NOT atempt at home.
Normally granfather specificley demands I DO NOT foward his e-mail address to anyone. But a gentleman from from Brazil wrote in to say that like the old bastord he too was blessed at birth with 3 testocles. I coudnt resist, and i put him in touch with the old bastord, who was suprisingly apreciative.
That week when anothor man, "Ivan from Russia" wrote in at 3:33 AM on March 3rd to round out the esteamed truimvorate by claiming the same claim, granfather marveled, "THIS IS LIKE HITTIN' THE TRIFECTA."
The happy trio shared storeis and compared notes. What is also remarkoble is that all three have a pawnshop conection: While 2 of the men once worked in pawn shops, granfather's bounteous arrest record includes a number of arrests, (yup, 3 to be exact), that ocurred in paunshops--and you know what the universol logo is for pawnshops.
Like other medical related online support gruops, the three comforted one another from childhood wounds left by creul locker room taunts like "Jock full of Nuts" and "He's some threesome."
And the bitter jibe of: "His 'pair-is-troika' " in the case of the Russain gentlman. (Its a play on words).
Actualy, in private, Id think that most men realy wish they had an extra ball. Granfather asked me to relay to readers that if you too have a dangling trilogy of your own, to please not apply to their group, but start your own instead. Theyd like to keep their party down to lucky three, for ovbious reasons.
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