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" 'Most of what this guy writes goes over people's heads. Its highly intelligent and is a mockery of 'crappy' culture like Howard Stern, et al.'
--A Walter addict since the summer"

-- comment from Netly News Chat, 3/11/97

Mid-March 97 Update

Page 2 of 6

The vile monster from whom Im desended is gettin more & more violant lately for variuos reasons. First by now he was sure hed of patched things up with his girlfrend. She emailed him 3 big zipped files--he was real excited, he THOGHT it was all parts of a .GIF of herself in some sortof provoccotive pose. He made me download them but when it was uncoded it turned out to be a giant .WAV file of the old biddy singin that Countrey western song in her warbling bloodcourdling screech that goes: "Get your Tongue out of my Mouth Cause I'm Kissin You Goodbye."

Man was granps pissed. At first i coudnt tell if he was so mad cause ofthe rejection or else the long download time. Both are enuogh to get angry over. He acused me of helpin her do this as a trick on him. But i do not play tricks on people.

Also things with the other woman, the skinny old crone arent goin good either. His itchy rash cleared up but he said some cruel nasty things to her onthe phone & now shes pissed at HIM. When he calls her she hangs up. It must be huomiliating to be rejectad by not 1 but 2 former call girls. (Atcualy, 'holler' girls not callgirls, cause perhaps you call them up first but when you see them in person you wantto hollor in ballfaced horror).

IM SO DESPRATE FER LOVIN ID EVEN TAKE THE BITCH WITH HER RASH he grumbled. i said DONT call it lovin cause ITS NOT LOVE Granfather its awful stuff goin on in his room with his 'visitors' that makes all my things fall off the shelf in my room JUST NEXT DOOR. Includin my originol Boba Fett figurine that i saw on TV is worth $900. (NO its NOT for sale).

Valantine Day Suprise

Since early March our bathrooms not workin. We have a rented Port-O-San in the frontyard til March 21 atleast. My dad had to hire speciel plumbors for a BIG danm mess I dont even want to explain but lets just say it involvs sevoral things including: Our now-busted toilat; A blockkage in the form of a baskatball sized wad of red cellophaine with hearts & cupids on it and massed within & thruout, asociated chocolaty matter (where not ALL of its choclate); And, a rather, (to use a computor industry term), "robust" non incendiery exploson, which, the best way i coud describe is this: Did you see the scene in The Shaw Shank Redempton when he excaped from jail by breakin the big sewage pipe with the rock & then it volcano'ed up in his face? Well as Jim Carry says, ALRIGHTY THEN. Oh did i also mentoin it also involves my subhuman gristly repuggnant and loathsum GRANFATHER.

And not olny that. The Port O Jon is ruined by the toxic beast cause what ever was SUPOSED to drop down into the hole but insted hit the seat, walls (and cieling if you can belive that) from the spattor now has little burnt marks on it like if you took a soddering iron & meltad the surface. Some burned so deep you can see daylite thru it. The back wall looks like a danm peice of that fancy lacey swisscheese from Eurrope. The man we rented it from said not only did we lose our cash depposit DAMMIT YOU JUST BOGHT YOURSELVS A GREEN PLASTIC OUTHOUSE.

I hate Valontines Day

Heres how it all started. Granfather made me drive him 3 huors to the mall last month. We went in the card store. There was this big card on display that said somthin like "Your The One & Only Gal For Me" on it. He looked at it, made a whuffly grunting noise an told the girl atthe countor ILL TAKE FOUR OF 'EM.

On the drive back he wolfed down a huge bag of those tiny pastel colored hard sugar hearts with pithy sayings stamped on them like I WUV U. Granfathers like a small child & cant have too much sugor he freaks out. So 50 miles from home he starts rockin violantly makin the whole car swurve & shimmy and wildly humming 3 times faster than it shoud be hummed the theme to the Bob Newhort show. Not the one where he was the innkeeper in Vormont but the psychiotrist in Chicaggo. Its a jumpy tune. I never saw the show. The old damn basterd is stuck in the frigin '70s I swear it. Good thing i had the heavy auto bodywork mallet in the glove box.

I pulled the car on the shoulder like the doctor said & hit him hard on his chin temples cheekbons & forhead till he CALMED DOWN. Today i fuond out from all his shakin in the car I need a stupid wheel alinement.

I do Somthing bad