In real life, we're nothin worse than, say, PG-13 or TV-14...Then why is evoryone so 'appalled?'
Page 5 of 7
And its just as good Granfather stopped harranging me in the car too, becuase that old Hoe girlfreind of his woud of shredded his leathery boney ass with those long fingornials of hers if she ever found out.
I DONT MIND THE FRUGOL GOURMAY, I JEST CAIN'T WATCH A GROWED UP MAN BLUBBORIN ON THE ENTREES, he said. Plus he told me he saw the Galloping Guormet cry once, but it was years back, and on anothor program. Granfather said it was OK for culinery celebrities to shed tears, but NOT on PBS which recieves fedoral funds.
Later that night I saw Granfather once more soakin his grapes in scalding liqoud again. I said to him WHY BOTHER with an arckaic 3000 year old type of birth controle becuase his old cohabbitant is well past whelping age (while the blind date he wasnt entirely sure of).
Granfather was readin WIRED Magozine agian, this time a copy from a few months back. He started hollering that WIRED had featured this ('iconoclatsic' is a good word) developer who mentioned in the interveiw that at one time he liked to wipe his butt with napkins and throw them at people in public. Granfather was outraiged that this was somhow found to be worthey of ink.
"AN' PC MAGOZINE CALLS ME 'SCATALOGICALLY OBSESSED'AND 'NOT-QUITE-HUMAN'" he screamed.
And just when I was sure he was furruiously angry with rage he looked up at me from his watery squat, narrowed his red pupils down to a smiley, slimy slit, pointed his fingor downward to what dangled below and said in a perfect Jon Luke Piccard voice:
And speakin of Star Trek:
And the very night we get the new set plugged in, Granpy had a big stick in his hand ready to bust our new TV but I was able to talk him out of it. He was angored by a a certain repeat of DeepSpace 9.
Also Granfather keeps saying, whenever he sees the smiley Domminion guy with the curley black hair and blue eyes "WHAT THE HELL'S THE 'MAD ABOUT YOU' GUY DOIN' HERE?"
The olny reason Granfather even watches the show is cause he likes Worf but LOVES Captian Sisco. He admires Sisco's cool demeanor and abbility to keep evoryone's asses in line.
But heres' where the crankey old bastord lost it: it was the episoade where Major Kiera goes after the guy whos asasinatting her old Bajjoran Resistance freinds. In case you dont watch the show, shes like five foot two and 9 months pregnent and in one scene she fights off 5 armed Cardasians who are super-strenght reptilian creatures. (Sort of like Granfather, atcualy).
Granfather mutters thruohgout the Deep Spac 9 show, anytime they ever mention 'The Bajoron Resistence', some regulor stupidity on how dont these people know that Resistence is Futile. Granrfather also cant fathom why Odoe has a crush on Major Keira cause he thinks shes skinny and ugly. "IF I WUZ MISTER ODOE I'D CUT MUH LEFT PINKY TOE OFF AN' SHAPE-SHIFT THET OLE DAWGIE INTO A BIG ASS-OLD NEKKED PARTY GAL.
They ocasionaly (and increasingley) assign me this type of asorted brainless work to do, and the week prior I did allot of these reinforcements and also made copies and did collating.. Part of my Probation meant less time doing coding and web devellopment. There was a note on top of the binders saying WALTER PLEASE DO RIENFORCEMENTS. So I thuoght to myself, OK mabye this isnt the day and mabye I will have a chance to inprove my work performance even bettor--aftor all I WAS on an upswing in the last 3 days of work with very few misteaks.