Last month on our trip to New York granfather claimed he was wheeling down 57th and passes Rather and then hollors out to him in a bloodcordling scream: "KENNETH WHATS THE FREQEUNCY?" then when he turned around to look behind him white as a ghost granfather made a evil grin then luaghed his ass off.
Watch his hands when he talks: Poor Dan trys to be warm and loving even wearing that homey sweator somtimes but granfather says the phony soothing tone is the same as the sneaky doctor who while youre lookin the other way at the cute nurse hes secretly slipping onthe rubbor glove behind him and all of a suddon grabs your nuts without even saying first TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH.
Brokaw always m-m-mmumbles and m-m-mmgrunts in cryptic spurts which are injected in his normol vellocity of speech like a backword mask LP record. (If you tape him and speed up the tape he says "Turn Me On Dead Man", and "Paul is dead" over and over).
And speakin of clipped vocal delivory you coud swear his micraphone poulsates on and off cause certain sylabells are just plain missing. ITS LIKE HAVIN JONNY MATHIS READ THE EVENIN NEWS GARDAMMIT says granfather.
Of cuorse there are others beside the top 10 an some of these folks are retired. Still in no speciel order is:
- Charls Osgood: WORSE POET THAN NIPSEY RUSSEL COUD BE EVEN WHILE TRYIN TO BE BAD
- Ted Kopple: PROBLY GOT THE MOST GIANT HEAD IN PROPORTION TO THE SKINNIEST NECK OF ANY MAN ALIVE
- Conny Chung: WALTER'S POLITOCLY CORRECT READERS WONT LIKE THIS BUT THET COMEDIAN ON HBO SAID IT BEST: THE WOMAN COUD USE A PEICE OF DENTAL FLOSS AS A BLINDFOLD
- Ed Bradley: DO SOMETHIN WITH THE BEARD. EITHOR SHAVE IT OR GROW IT LONGER BUT STOP WALKIN AROUND LIKE A VELCRO DARTBOARD DAMMIT
- Charls Kuralt: THE REAL REASON HE RETIRED WAS I ALMOST SHOT HIS ASS OFF FER TRESPASSIN THAT CAMPER ON MY LAND
- Wilard Scott: TOOK A BROKEN SATELITE DISH HOME FROM THE STUDIO ONE DAY AND NOW ITS HIS SUPPER PLATE
- Jim Lerher: TOO MANY SOFTBALL QEUSTIONS IN THE PRESIDENTOL DEBATE. WOUDA BEEN BETTER IF PBS LET EITHER BARNEY OR KING FRIDAY DO THE JOB
- Steve Croft: NEEDS LIPPOSUCTION ON THAT FAT NECK ID SAY
- Jane Pauly: BEIN MARRIED TO DOONSBERY TAKES ITS TOLL--LETS JUST SAY SHE DONT LOOK LIKE BOOPSIE NO MORE.
- Andy Roony: HIS FACE LOOKS LIKE THAT WET KNOBBY CIRCULOR RED THING LEFT IN THE BOTTOM OF THE PRESS AFTOR YOU MAKE CHERRY WINE
- William F. Buckly: STOP LEANING LIKE THAT AND BUY AN INFLATABLE DONUT TO SIT ON DAMMIT YOUR RICH ENUOGH
- Wolf Blitzer: GITTIN A BIT FOSTOR BROOKS-LOOKIN IN HIS OLD AGE, NO?
- Debra Norvile: TOO SMILEY FER ME. ID LIKE TO SEE HER HOLD HER OWN IN THAT CNN SHOW WHERE THEY HOLLER AT EACH OTHER
- Lewis Rukeysor: LOOKS LIKE HES DOIN AN IMMATATION OF JOSE FERRAR DOING A IMMOTATION OF A KLINGON. PLUS YOU KNOW HE COMBS HIS HAIR LIKE GOERGE WASHINTON ON PURPOSE.
- Bryan Gumble: ANNOYING LITTLE BASTERD. LIKE A PERSISTANT MORMON KID WHO COMES TO THE DOOR AN WONT LEAVE UNLESS YOU HOLD UP A NEKID LADY PICTURE IN HIS FACE