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You havent been grossed out till youve seen granfather crack into a live giant horse shoe crab with his big horseteeth and eat it shell and all just like Darrel Hanna ate the lobstor in the movie "Splash".
He even cracks the long black spike open in his teeth an sucks the meat out. VERY FEW WHITE MEN HAVE SUPPED ON THIS DELLICACY he always lectoures us. I never know what the hell he means by that.
But in the meantime the old amphibious enigma was no where to be found. THIS COUD BE OUR LUCKY DAY I heard my stepmom mutter to Dad. Then we noticed about a halfmile away behind us by the bay side bridge there was a comotion and an amboulance. My sistor in law has a saying:
And there hangin over the side of the smaller boat and being hauled aboard tangeled in a net covered with seaweed and marine flotsam and jetsam, his monstrous face warped even more so because of a large clear jelleyfish encasing it which distorted his frightening countenence into a larger, more grisley and macabra transluscent magnifocation, was, yes, YOU GEUSSED IT: Granfather.
I screamed out that they shoudnt hook the old basterd it wasnt an extinkt saltwater trilobyte it was just one of my relatives. He was thrashin around in there screamin. They cut him down and he was half delussional from swalowing so much salt water.
He looked like a damn black hairy thing youd find in the trap of a giant sink. Supossedly the first Coast Gaurd person who got there coudnt tell he was a human right away and filed in the oficial report that theyd hauled in a "large animated peice of medicol waste."
Dad tried to talk the amboulance crew into not takin him to the hospitol for observatoin. But they thought about it and decided it would give them a break for a night. So they kept the old beast overnight and SOMEONE ELSE other than his unfourtunate family which is usualy the case had to scrape the barnacles and perrywinkels off the old monstors scaley hide.
I had to do it once last year and you have to use plyers, a chisel and liqioud butane. It doesnt hurt his skin.
Later on the hospitol was pissed cause granfather bitched all night cause he coudnt 'Surf The net' from the TV in his room. Also there was a ton of sand down his throat in his ears and up his ass.
I was very upset cause as you know Im hoplesly in love with someone who doesnt love me back. GOD HELP ME IT WONT GO AWAY and I wish the feelings woud. Its my former counselor who I was in therapey with but she had to give up my case cause she coud tell i had feelings for her. There not allowed to council someone whos in love with you. I think its both a state and fedoral law.