The poster child for the argumment against Federal Funding for artistic endevours on the Internet
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But I digress. Aneyway. I logged in to do some downloads and I had a beer.
Meanwhile i am shy. Ive mentionned how hard and painful it is for me to make convorsation even with my freinds. So like a jerk i drank annothor beer. When she arivved i was a little wasted, but not allot.
So she keeps leaning on me while i am on the computor trying to get one of her ample ass cheeks onto the chair with me. When I dont give in, she grunts and pushes. She allways does this. I think its cause shes short of breath from smokking so much. I woudnt realy call her fat, or even plump, but she has a body like a 55-gallon drum full of pudding. I said 'Cathyann NO.' But she luaghed in her loud raspy voice and mussed my hair which is growing in all spiky from my having shaived it all off and I told her not to do that because i am losing my hair. She said thats OK, because i "Have beautifful eyes."
Meanwhile I do NOT have beutoful eyes.
I have small, plain dark somwhat beadly looking eyes that are probly too close togethor. When a womon tells you (or at least me) that you have 'beutifull eyes', she is shovelling the crap with a shovel in both hands. It is the most over-used line by bolth males and females. Belive it or not, once before a woman used that line on me, except that time she wanted money. And i do not have any of that either.
The chair teetored from too many people on it. Too many is two.
Finaly just as I lost the turf war and submitted to the encroachment of her buttcheek onto my lap squashing my blessed particulors, I got up my nerve to ask her somthing: Was the thing that my brothor said to me in the e-mail earlier true? Did she realy take a dollor fifty from my brother and his freind Raymond in return for her lifting her shirt to show them her chest behind the dumpstor of the Feed store which isnt there anymore?
Well she luaghed and luaghed really extremmly loud and said YES!!! Also she said I coud see it too if I wanted to and it woud cost me only 25 cents and this was a bargian considoring the rate of inflation and how much bigger her boompies were from that time. Well then somthing weird hapened. I luaghed too. I have to tell you in all the time ive been writting this hompage I cannot think of an instence where I wrote abbout myself luaghing. Well it was a very qiuck laugh and it was ovor quickly because the next thing I knew her face closed in on me like a giant orange Garibaldi fish and then she was atacking me agian. For the first minute or so i was sucessful in keeping The Tounge out. She was like a danm Sears hammer drill and she even treid a side entry once or twice (smart girl) but i held her off. At one point i opened my eyes and saw that she was lookin at me. (Oh yuck, kissing with eyes open. Bleah!!)