Walter Miller Homepage

Where 'cookies' are dropped on other places, and not just the harddrive.

sEPTEMBER 1997 Update

Page 2 of 6

I wanted to have a family meeting to discuss the whole thing: You read in my last Update of the cruel idea of my sisterinlaw to leave Granfather to die. I wanted people to confront her on this. Also i wanted to discuss how we can track down granfather's old mean girlfreind who really shoud be tried for atempted murder. (I tell you I WILL testofy agianst her in court if it comes to it).

But instead my brothor in effect kicked us all out of his house. My dad made the desision that he woud cancel his flight and that me and him and my stepmom woud rent a truck and drive the old bastord back home to Texas.

The family meeting would commence, but it woud have to be after we went back, and we would also conferrence call in Granfather's brothers, and I guess also the atorneys of anyone who thought they needed one. Lately you cant have a family meeting in OUR family withuot someone having there danm lawyor present.

We leave to get the truck

My brother had to go to work, but he left a phone message for Granfather;s older brothers on the East coast, Uncle William and Uncle Zeke. Granfather did NOT want his older brothers involved, and him and my brother got into a loud argument. They violentley hate eachother.

Then me & my dad went to the Ryder rentol place to get the truck while my sister-in-Law and stepmother and little nephew stayed behind with the human atrocity to keep him out of trouble. A bright note to the whole preddicament is that the old bastord is pretty danm easy to take care of now: I cant see more than just a gardon hose and a couple of funnels being involved.

Right now my stepmothor is the only person in my family who i love. She is not my real mom who is deceased but is a wondorful person. I am supremely pissed at evoryone else in the whole danm family. I hate them all and They can all kiss my ass:

Starting with Granfather.

Well, I also love my liitle nephew ALLOT. When we came back with the truck, i heard this hideous belching noise come from the apartment from all the way out in the parking lot. When we came upstairs the little guy was atually playing with Granfather. He is only 2 years old but very smart and kept saying to the old bastord: "MAKE FROGGY NOISE"

So Granfather, hanging there upside down grinning at the kid woud burp "RIBBIT!! very loud and the little guy woud laugh and luagh, plus the old beast woud cackol too. This is the closest thing to a heartworming moment i can remember for a long time.

It all ends with a big Fight

Me and my dad and one of the neighbers helped cart the old pestillent geezer and his metallic trap down 3 flihgts of stairs with the hand truck. Granfather remarked that other than not bein able to scratch his balls he was pretty comfortoble. He also mused that atleast his nuts were hanging confortably, and you cant always expect that, even from a good pair of pants.

Granfather grunted at me "LISSEN UP, BOY," and said that if by some chance he's still trapped in the cube shaped cage by Holloween, he wanted me to layor him allover with alunimum foil and Christmos lights and he'd go to the costume party they have down at our county's Senior Center dressed as the Borg Vessol from Star Trek. (This was fine with me but last year him and his old hag girlfreind were banned for life. Theyd gone dressed as Woody and Soon-Yee and made a horroble scene and got arrested. I wont say what the scene was, or who was dressed as Woodey and who as SoonYee.)

While we all went outside securing the metal trap in the back of the truck with bunjee cords all togethor to keep it from jostling on the long ride home, my nephew, in my sisterinlaw's arms, kept asking his "Great-Granpy" to MAKE FROGGY NOISE AGAIN. So the old bastord obliged. Then he asked my sistorinlaw why the kid wants to hear that noise so much and she narowwed her eyes and got as close to him as you safely ought, and said to him with allot of emotion in her voice as mean as she posibly coud: "Because you ugly horible Son Offa Bich, I told the kid that once Great Grampy 'croaks' I woud take him to Walt DisneyWorld.".

Granfather tried to lunge at her and woud of killed her too if dad didnt hold back the metal twisted sofa cage which was now shaking furriously, and toumbling toward her. His scream was very bloodcourdling and his fangs were angrilly snapping so what we finaly did was get one of those solid rubber spare tire donut wheels that come with certian new cars and wegde it straight into his shreiking blaring moulth.

The long ride home

Theres realy not much to talk about the ride home. The donut wheel tire remained in place allthe way to the Arizona stateline. There is still black vulconized rubbor in his teeth. We travelled all day and all night sleeping in shifts becuase my folks didnt want to risk having to stay over in a motel, plus they wanted to get Granfather home as quickley as possible. (and get there asses back home AWAY from the old creature). In New Mexico we stopped in this place where we coud take a shower and also to clean off Granfather as best we coud without dammaging the truck. In the floor of the bay we had a few heavey tarpoulins and the area directly beneath the old circus sideshow spectocle was sort of rotted and burnt. So we had to buy more tarps.

A man in Germony had wrote to us and sugested we try plain white vinegor to clean him so thats what we did, with the Sears power sprayer and i must say it cleaned him off pretty good.

"LEAVE IT TO THEM STEWARDLY GERMANS TO HAVE AN IDEAR TO WARSH OFF MUH SMELLY-ASS HIDE SO SIMPLE," said Granfather, that alls you hafto use is somthing most folks already got in there pantry to begin with.

My folks give me a Talking to