Walter Miller Homepage -- SPECIAL POLITICOL UPDATE
Part II: Granfathers pollitical brushes with fame

Richerd Nixon (Con't.)

Another story takes place durin Nixons first exile in the mid 1960s and also the same week that he happened to meet Hoover. Granfather was in the Kings Countey courthouse in Brooklin on a shoplifting charge. Nixon was there for a case as he was back practicin law for a big firm in New York. Someone said LOOK ITS THE FORMER VEEP.

Granfather followed Nixon in the john. He was takkin a dump and the old beast got in the next stall. Granfather started makkin that threatenning low voice: IM ALGER HIST AND I'M PISSED! IM ALGER HIST AND I'M PISSED! Then granfather said he was a wearwolf and was gonna jump over the stall an bite him in the ass. Nixon was makkin all these nervous throat clearin noises and they made granfather bust out in his frightening cackling laugh. Then he got out of there becuase Nixon said he woud call the cops.

My dad says Granfather never showed up for the court date and is still a wanted crimminal in Brooklin.

The other story he tells all the time involves Nixon and...

Dwihgt D. Eisenhour

In 1952 granfather was in the service where hed soon be discharged dishonnorabley. Eesenhower and Nixon were campaining and they took a millitery transpourt plane between 2 bases. It might of been Fort Hood to Fort Bliss. Who the hell knows its not inportant to the story.

Nixon was hangin out with the soldeirs in the back of the plane. As you know he was atcually a very nice man and a cool guy at that time still in his 30s and a great poker player. Granfather gets in on a few hands and starts kickin everyones ass. Nixon catches him cheatin. The old beast has cards up his sleave. They get in an argoument an Nixin starts waggin his finger in granfathers face like the damn Kitchen Debbate.

Granfather gets thrown out of the game. He says ILL GET YOU BACK. He goes to the front of the plane an theres Eisenhower sittin there with his readin glasses on. Theres an emptey seat next to him an granfather plops his reptillian ass in it an says to Ike YOU KNOW GENERAL, MR NIXON SAID I COUD SIT HERE. I WON HIS SEAT PLAYIN POKER. I ALSO WON THIS. And then he shows Ike the same upside-down nakked lady ballpoint pen he later gave to Clinton. He said "I see, young man." He summoned Nixon and you could tell Ike was P.O'ed. He also summoned a soldier to make granfather move further back in the plane. Ike held his nose and fanned the air around him where granfather had been because it smelled an granfather actually admits this and brags about it.

Roland Reagan

Granfather was one of the Little Rascels. Its true. He was about 6 years old and was in a few eppisodes only as an extra in crowds and classroom scenes and was also the inspouration for the kid with the Froggy voice, but they had a better-looking kid play the part. As he was a proufoundly ugly child hes been edited out of modern showings of the Rascals along with bad racial humour. Some things we Americons found funny in the past just arent funny anymore.

This was in the late 1930s. On the soundstage down the street Reagon was doing Kings Row. The hiddeous beastley lad took an ice pick and flatened the tires on allot of cars in the lots includeing Reagan's car. It was a fancy Buick and the 3rd time it hapenned but this time he got cought. Granfather was a badley behaved kid and other lumminaries around the studio like Douglos Fairbanks and W.C. Feilds hated his little guts too. In fact granfather is the reason why WC Feilds hated all children. Reagon dragged him by the scruff of his neck straight to the cops. While Reagan was draggin him the little basterd who chewed chaw even back in those days spat toxic tobacco juice right in Reagans face.

As i mentioned my granfathers a subhumman monster. Some of the vennemous spatter that got Reagans he didnt wash off right away and years later develloped into pollups and other growths that had to be sourgicaly removed from his face. But reagan got him back in his old age, thanks to the Reagon cheese.

Brushes with 2 ornery Democrats: Truman and LBJ