Who cares why its late - where's my Playstation 2, dammit?
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Much has happened since my last update. There have been allot of suprises in July and Augost. All of it imediately kicked into action on the Fourth of July. Briefly, this is what hapened:
That last one is the biggest one: Not only somone i like but LOVE. Yes they say that fact is stranger than fiction. You will not beleive who I had my date with. OK I will tell you: It my Only True Love--the womon Ive been in love with for years.
In our family, the 4th of July is an opportunity for great family discord to erupt in loud, dysfunctionol fireworks. The epicenter of all activity and root cause of all problems as you know is GRANFATHER.
My brother's new house was ready and we had a barbecue there. My brother Spike and his wife and baby just moved 30 minutes away. They built a huge house and are laying down sod grass. They are goingto build a horse farm.
In my last update I wrote about how Granfather's two older brothers, Uncle William and Uncle Zeke were visiting from the East coast. Actualy they were visiting only to partisipate in a number of lawsuits they have agianst Granfather. They were now staying in our trailer
Rounding out the group as a second tier, Granfather also hates me, my Dad and my stepmom, but allot less than these five. The three of us in this second teir are cought in the middle. We genniunely love Granfather, but hope for his redemption. We want him to change his ways, and bring some healing to our poor, pitifful, disfunctional family.
All of the family's dysfucntion is due to Granfather. However, my Dad and stepmom live in California so they are far enuogh away from the old basterd where they dont have to deal with (or smell) him.
We might get all throwed out of that restuarant, but at least we try. There are occasional arguments and fisticuffs, but usually most of the time we all sort of sit around in silent brooding, staring at our food and sporadicly glancing up to shoot dirty looks at one anothor.
While no one says so, allot of hate is directed at ME because I deep down care for Granfather. Yet Granfather is never my ally, becuase he hates me too. Like I said. It is pretty danm disfunctional.
Also, every 4th of July they always show that musical film "1776" in the middol of the day and its like, four hours long and after me and Spike were all runnin around scared for our life the old basterd woud make us sit there on the sofa in the trailer with no air conditionning and watch the whole danm thing. It woud be on extremely loud and the whole time Granfather woud scream at us to "PAY ATTENTION!!" cause this is what America is all about.
Anyway in 1776 there are unlikely actors like the White Shadow and also the stern old guy who is the teacher in Boy Meets World and they are prancin all arround Independence Hall in their wigs and waistcoats and singing in this exaggeratedly dainty poofy way. Every year Granfather woud lecture us sternly that this was a dark chaptor in American History, and allot of the Founding Fathors acted this was cause there werent allot of women on the fronteir.
Well our family dosent have allot of women, just my stepmom in California, and Spike's wife Darlene, who didnt even join the men as we all sat there in mostly brooding silence at my brothor's Fourth of July Barbecue.
And the only reasen my brother hosted a danm barbecue is to show off his new place. Yes he is rubbin all our noses in it that now he's rich. And, like I said, it is not even like he earned the money, his danm dot com company got BOUGHT OUT.
OK, I will stop. My jeallousy of the situation is really showing.
At my brother's place, there are some rules. Granfather is alowed only in the yard, and not in the house. He smells too bad and refuses to bathe plus he breaks things. He is banned from the house. If he has to take a danm piss or somthing he has to go in the friggin weeds. You may think it is a pretty disrespectfull way to treat one's granfather, yeah, well, if so, you never met GRANFATHER.
Way up by the house there were some happy noises where my nephew, Little Spike, who is 2 years old played in the baby pool with Darlene. Also little Spike's nanny, was there too. Since my brothor is a freakin dotcom half-millioinaire they coud now afford to move thier nanny with them from California.
Meanwhile, under the huge willows, all the men just sat there scowling at eachothor. Granfather smokes his brothors do not. He kept blowin smoke in their faces, especially poor uncle William who is hooked up to this little rolling cart consisting of ventilator machines and various bottles of fluid atached by rubber hoses into his lungs and veins.
For most of the day alls you coud hear in the sour silence was the clicking and puffing of Uncle Will's machines and the buzz of hot weathor insects. Also, the sounds of Spike working on the grill. He is one of these guys who cares more about the grilling than his guests. If he was going to efectively rub all our noses in his sucess, the food bettor be good too, dammit.