The world fammous

Walter Miller's Homepage(TM)

Gore says he reads it but doesnt. Dubya reads it but denies it.

The Humilliatingly LATE Update covering Aogust, September and Octobor 2000

Page 13 of 39

The nasty old lady who was the VP of H.R. lady seemed to already know I was coming. She bent over like an old crone fillin up some cup with this pissy smelling chamomeal tea or some such and snapped at me, "There you are! Youre late and weve been in this meeting waitin for you!"

I did not know what the hell she was talkin about. The door of her office swung open and there sittin at the little table in her office were the four othor workstation support people beside me who work at Cyberblop. I am the only one by the way who actualy does HTML coding for clients. Yes, I work TWO jobs at this crappy place and I am payed the lowest.

There was anothor person in the meeting as well, this guy with a bad combover and out-of-date tinted aviator glasses wearin a loud plaid sports jackat and shiny grey pollyester pants with allot of those small pollyestor fuzzballs that occur on varrious synthetic fabrics from overwearing and underwashing that look like nit eggs all on the seat and crotch. He looked like some sort of late '70s used car salesman; actualy, he looked sort of like the same generic type of tornado eyewitness I see over and over agian on the local news station, the guy who owns a cinder-block pornographey store out on the interstate where no one lives that just got destroyed in a danm twister and now he's blubboring and cryin to the news cameras cause he dosent have no insurance.

The whole place was silent and everyone looked sad exept the guy in the tacky clothes. I said "What is this meeting about?" and the H.R. lady said (in a mean, nasty tone), "Its about the Rent-A-Temp-Gal(tm) acount."

Well I sure as hell was in no mood to hear about THAT, but aftor this meeting I was more upset and pissed than coud be imagined.

Yet anothor degrading Houmiliation

Working on the Rent-A-Temp-Gal(tm) account was not too bad after hearing what they told us: We were no longer ON the danm acount -- instead all of our work statuses were being converted. The bad news was that our jobs were all being elimminated. The good news was, (if there is such a thing as good news in such a humilliating development), In other words, effective one week from that day, we would actualy be Rent-A-Temp-Gals.

Missed Milestones and Incompleat Deleverables

The reasen for this was to save the compeny money. Cyberblop owed the Rent-A-Temp-Gal(tm) Company a lot of money cause they missed the assigned deadline of gettin there website built on time. The contract said that if the website crapped out we had to refund thier money and pay an extra fee.

But we did not have the fee

Cyberblop is very short of money this quarter. It seems allot of money was spent on outside consultents. The bulk of this Consultent money went to On-site Enployee Self-Esteem Building programs.

Since we didnt have no money, five of us Cyberblop people were being "sold off" to the danm client. It is more embarasing than being, like, a baseball player who instead of bein sent down to the minors is traded to another team in exchange for some friggin new tires for the team bus..

By the way Cyberblop no longer uses the words "assignment" and "deadline." The new words that take there place are the more trendey but vague terms "Milestone" and "Deliverrable." I keep gettin the two of them confused.

"Hi, newly-hired hirees," gushed the new guy in the cheap plaid jackat, "My name is Wally, and I'm your Rent-A-Temp-Gal(tm) Field manager. Two of you are NOT gals, I notice...OH! and there's another 'Wally' in the group, how nice..."

The stuppid idiot yapped on and on. Well anyway like I said there were five of us tech suport employees being converted, and all of us were suposed to sign these forms that efectively said we were resigning from Cyberblop to work for Rent-A-Temp-Gal(tm) in exactly one week.

Four of them just got up and quit on the spot. Yes the economey is doing well and they all took their chances that they will get othor jobs.

One person did not quit

That persen was me. Part of the reasen was because I am a jerk. The othor reason is that I am under court order to live with and take care of Granfather: Under the court order, I am alloud to get another job, but only if I have another job lined up.

There was anothor reasen I didnt quit as well

Remembor, I was going to Los Angeles in a few days on business. Me and Stu were going to secretley moonlight during this trip to have a meeting about the cartoon project. I woud still be a Cyberblop was going to pay for the trip.

I stick around after the meeting

I wanted to file an Oficial Complaint with Human Resources for being houmiliated by Barry in the meeting. The mean old hag H.R. lady told me (in so many words) that she really didnt give a crap about my feelings. And besides, by the time my complaint was processed I woud no longor be a Cyberblop employee but a Rent-A-Temp-Gal.(tm)

I left her office and there in the waiting area of H.R. was Igor, who is a programmor. He was colappsed in a chair weeping and moaning. Standing above beside him with his arms folded was Peaches who had this evil smirk on his face.

Igor is one of these brillient immagrant programmers from a former Eastern Block country, but somehow him and Peaches never hit it off. Right now Peaches was gettin Igor reprimanded for Inappropriate Workplace Behavoir.

Peaches's plot to destroy Igor.

A womon who works here just returned from maternity leave and hapened to put on allot of weight in all the wrong places. Peaches incouraged Igor to send her an email requesting she "upgrade her mammaries." When she got the note she filed Sexuaol Harassment charges agianst poor Igor who just sat there weeping and holding his head while Peaches taunted him about how he hoped to have him deported back to "The Land of Rough and Scratchy Toilet Paper" as he called it.

"Upgrade mammaries," Igor wailed in his thick Slavic acent, as his big bearded bearlike body heaved from giant sobs, "What is crime in telling woman she must do this? Boo hoo hoo!"

At least he was leaving. I was still STUCK in this dump. And more pissed than evor.