Disclaimor: Small parts of what your readin is not true
Page 10 of 24
Like I said, because I had to go early, I was unable to catch one of the limosines there AND I HAD TO TAK MY OWN CAR. Its a 5 hour ride.
Later on i treid to get them to reinburse me expenses but they said "we are a start up company and dont have the money for that."
$300 is ALOT of money in this part of the countrey, especialy for a dumb guy like Junior but it was worth every penny. This was on top of the $40 he got to block the porn channols. Junoir is makin more freakin money than me. We also made sure Junior also had a new eight-pack of ass darts just in case.
She even met me at work on her day off to bring me her laptop. Then we went out for lunch and I had a good time. She drives one of those giant Lincoln Navigater SUVs and her feet cant touch the floor nor eyes reach ovor the dash and she backed into a dumpster twice while parking but I will not make fun of her about it.
Yes I know, that is oposite of what I said beffore. But I cannot help it. I am weak. And it was extremly nice of her to loan me her laptop.
Anyway, that night after I spent the whole day settin up computers in the hotel conference room, the rest of the people start checking in. I was waiting there too, becuase I coud not check in. It is humilliating, but I do not have a credit card. One of the Upper Managors woud have to check me in. Even more humiliatting was the danm alunimum eyepatch I had to wear. It was no ordinery eyepatch but this big curved thing the size of half a tennis ball.
People were staring at me and whisporing wherever I went. Now I know how Granfather feels.
I see the Ergonomotron arrive, and he nods at me. He is wearin somthing new on his mysterrious all-black turtlenecked figure. It is this big yellow square peice of foam across his chest. I recognized it as somthing that came packed in the box our new network server came in. He must of friggin pulled it out of the danm dumpster.
He walks over to me and says in this criptic, high-faluttin voice, "I never liked Ronald Reagan. But he once said, 'It's amazing what can be acomplished if no one cares who takes the credit'."
And then he walked away. What the hell did THAT mean. Anyway alls I cared about was gettin the $1,000 prize for comin up with my way-cool idea of a speciel see-through paper that you lay on the computor screen and write on with speciel crayons.
Next the Lady Who Screams at Everyone came in, and her danm anoying kid was there too. Evereyone at Cyberblop hates this danm kid. It looks like he had a freind with him too. The two kids are runnin around very loud and acting like brats.
The kids are alreadey foolin around. While the lady is still standin there. They are throwin stuff at othor people in the lobby, and making fun of the bellman, who was forced by this particulor hotel chain to wear an enbarassing uniform with a big pointey helmet. One of them threw a jawbreakor at the guy when he turned around and it popped off his head.
This was her son's freind. Meanwhile I coud not find her son. Sudenly we both see him with his trousors down and he is peeing into this fountian in the middol of the lobby.
The Lady who Screams at Evereyone tells me that her kid is slightley 'hyper' and needs focus. Then she started screamin at me, and said that it was my job to watch them, make sure they did NOT GET IN TROUBEL, and to also during the whole three days, to assume all my tech suport duties: That this WASNT no danm vacation I was on. Also, I woud have to drive these two little creeps back the whole 5 hours because she was leaving early!!
Later, at night they held conferrences too. These consisted of all these highpaid bozos all handing various plaques and prizes to one anothor while they all clapped and congrattulated themselves ovor and over. Oh, also a few people won trips to Cancun. Some people who were with the company only one danm month were somhow able to win these. Selfserving basterds.
I finaly found out what the danm Ergonomotron was talkin about, with the Ronald Reagen quote: This basterd introduced the winner of the prize for great interactive idea -- MY GREAT IDEA -- as one of the new consultents.
It was the consultent who looks like Prince Charles exept she is wearin a dress. Yes it is a woman. But she REALY looks like Prince Charles; especialy when you see him on TV wearin the Scotish kilt.
The consultent came up on stage, described MY IDEA, and then they handed her a check for $1,000. Then everryone clapped and clapped and clapped. I was so pissed. I shifted arround unconfortably in my seat. Which by this time was VERY unconfortable bein that the sore I got from driving was like a friggin strawberry was growin on it for Godsake.
A big mean woman who didnt speak English and who had this grim Tom Snyder face came over and started chewin me out. It was truly the Female Version of Tom Snyder.
I personaly was not aloud to go in the pool considoring the problem with my eye but while she was hollerin at me the two brats pushed me in the water. It was NOT suposed to get wet.
The kids were screamin out the balcony of the room which overlooked the pool in a big indoor atrium area from 10 stories up and you coud hear the little brat sonofobbiches in almost every room. Two times the big female Tom Snyder who dosent speak English came by and knocked onthe door of our room and told me that if the kids did ONE MORE THING BAD we were all three of us out of there on our ass.
As soon as she left I heard a shreik from the balcony and ran back there to find one of the kids holding the othor one's arms while he sat on the railing with his legs hooked arround it with his pants down and with his undorpants down i saw escaping from between his cheeks as he shook loose till it dropped down onto the cement below where people were swimming and where stencilled in red paint arround the perimeter of the pool were the words: NO RUNNING -- WET SURFACE -- CUIDOSO PISO MOJADO" a crap that sailed thruogh the air ten stories down to land with a loud smack right on the part that said PISO.