I appollogize. This danm update is so big i am runnin out of snappy things to write here.
Page 18 of 24
By the time I got back to Cyberblop there was an urgent messege for me: Aparantly the entire suport staff (including me) was suposed to update the entire Cyberblop website. The Generol Manager was NOT HAPPY abuot this situation with the pink text and so every page had to be updated. They had settoled on this very fetid looking babystool brown for the color of weblinks that you have alredy looked at. The directions were folowed by a ridiculuos "Confidential Message From The Generol Manager" which declaired that the reason why we werent gettin hits was that this hard-to-read pink text was driving, "web browsers like himself away."
Well there are thuosands of pages on the site. It friggin took us all night. At 10 PM the Generol Manager called us up from home where he was monnitoring the progress. I was the unfortunnate one who had to talk to him on the phone. He made us interrupt work and told us he wanted a diferent shade of blue for non-looked at hyperlinks: "Harrumph! This is a pissy, Cerulean blue! I want a robust Prussian blue!
There were six of us workin and we finaly finished at 3:36 am. Since Junoir was watching Granfather and doin a rellatively good job I did not bothor going home.
After we finished FTP'ing the new web pages that were set to default to the crap brown insted of the pink hypertext, we all went down to the server room. Its one of these freezing cold glass rooms they call The Fishbowl. One of the guys I work with is sort of a Warez expert and he installed this program that makes your domain look like its gettin allot of bogus hits.
"It wasn't the easiest major in college for nothing, Walt," he always says. Stu also has this great smooth voice like a 1950s game show host. He came ovor our house once or twice for supper. Him and Granfather get along well too. Granfather calls him "The Pig Man."
Well, we did not get arround to changing the Ceruleon Blue to a Prussian Blue and so what we did was ask Stu to demo the website for the Boss, and say that we did change it.
"Harumph!," the Genoral Manager said, "The pissy pink color is gone, and replaced by that shade of...of...what did we call that color?"
"Professional Corporate Sepia," said Stu. Then Stu added, "And take a look at the new blue for the unclicked links. This is the same blue that I.B.M. uses on their website."
"Why this blue looks splendid," the boss said, "Mph! Yes, I.B.M., why they're known as 'Big Blue,' and so they must be leading the industry: leading it bluewise, that is."
Sudenly the Generol Manager's pulpy crimson face, which already resembled one of those red things on a baboon's butt grew more red, and then purpol.
"How much are we paying I.B.M. to USE this blue!" he cried. Stu answored withuot missing a beat, "Oh no, sir, we're going try -- no promises here, but we're gonna try to get THEM to pay US to use it!", and this made the boss very pleased. If theres one person in this world I admire and woud like to be confident like, it is Stu. Of course i sure as hell woudnt want to look like him. Like i said he looks like a danm pig.
Also she wrote in the note asking if I had found any of her "personol items" which she might of by acident left in her laptop bag. And as long as I was coming, coud I pick up some fish food. How did this pain in the ass person get so ensconced into my life.
Suddenly my speakorphone buzzes and crackols loudly with the booming voice of the Generol Manager:
"GET BACK IN MY OFFICE NOW!"
For some reasen I was the only one of the workstation people who's extension he knew. I was teriffied.
I am very bad at one on one confrontattions. Also I did not fit into the corporrate culture here at Cyberblop. This was a company where people screammed at eachother. I did not want to get screamed at.
The first thing I did was I ran down toword Stu's office. He wasnt at his desk but i did hear swinelike grunts and squeals commin from the men's room right next to where he sat. Stu was allot more important than me and so he got to have a desk real close to the mensroom.
I bursted in and spoke to him behind the stall door where he was in the proccess of a heavilly intensive 'SYSTEM DOWNLOAD'.
"Oh, MAN! ...I can't make it Walt," he called out to me.
"Damn fried onion loaf I ate yesterday...WHOA, NELLIE!....It's shootin' through me...OUCH!...some country bumpkin greasy spoon about an hour from here...I heard someone actually dropped dead the other day from eating there...."
I ran out of there toword the Boss's office as Stu hollored out to me, "You're gonna have to wing it, Walt! You can do it!"
The boss had this giant mile wide frown on his face like the Duchess in Alice in Wonderland.
"Pissy pink," he seethed at me, harshly twisting his computor screen toword me so I coud see.
"More pissy pink hypertext!," he screamed.
I said to him, "Sir, that is the Yahoo! website. That is not our website.
"I want it fixed!"
"It's not our website sir."
Then he said, "Well, then let them choose to make fools of themselves," and then he waved me off with his hand and I scampored away like the little ass kissing frightened minion that I am.