Walter Miller Homepage

"LEMME TELL YOU, THERE AIN'T NO DIFFERENCE FROM SQUIRILS BUT FER THE BUSHY TAIL."
--Granfather, circa 1989, undor arrest for feeding rats by hand in a public park.

4/97 Update

Page 7 of 8


The old bastord kept gettin up to go to the bathroum & insisted he didnt need help. When he scooted out into the aisle he always made sure his butt came as close as it coud to other peoples face INCLUDIN MINE. He has a sick sence of humor.

On one trip to the john he stumboled back in his seat & I noticed big cuts on his face. You remember the trivit scar he got in my Mid-Febuary '97 update: Well, he had a lattoral cut full acros his forhead exatly bisecting the part of the scar that read 'SCHMART'. Plus a deep semicirculor crease from cheek to nose that bled bad.

I said WHAT HAPENED? He said, NOTHIN, BOY SHUT UP. When he spoke i saw his lips & tounge were dark blue and then i knew.

All the blood vesels by his eyes were busted from strong sucksion. He was warned NOT to drink from the airplaine toilet but the man is a friggin subhuman animal. He wont admit why he does it but the the doctor said its due to savage urges he cant control. I know people read my hompage and lauagh but i dont write it so you coud laugh i do it because hes a disgraiceful disgusting man and its the only way to express my feelins of shame and enbarasment of one humiliaton aftor another for his family. My dad and stepmom spent i cant tell you how many thuosand of dollors in treatment, theropy, medocine, even incarcoration to get granfather to inprove or atleast behave like a PERSON and not a danm monstor but its all a waste.

So I make the old coot HOLD STILL as i wipe him down with Handymoists while hes havin this dialog with the lady next to us asking WHY BLUE is the "internatoinol color" for rasberry flavored products like ice pops and hard candy.

WHO MAKES THESE DANM RULES? he growled. He said it was probly Goerge Bush and his Trilaterolists friends who he also belives back in the 1970s desognated orange & green as the internatonal colors of decaf coffee.

Granfather points at his lips and says CAUSE ILL TELLYA: THIS STUFFS BLUE BUT IT SHORE AS HELL DONT TASTE LIKE RASPBERREIS.

warning: it breifly gets gross

Right after I cleaned Granfathers face i had to change his shirt. It was just stained everywhere with this rancid infected-smelling disgusting tomato-Alfredoey-lookin semi-liqoud lung ooze dribbling out of his friggin wound. Even when hes totally clean, Granfathers bare body is startleingly ugly. Like an anemic lizerd with jawndice. His mottled yellowish brown skin has this greasey, waxy cadavorlike patinna. The doctor told us that once he was involved with an ehxumation where they had to dig up a dead guy long aftor he was buried, and that Granfathers skin looks the same as that of a dead stiff after being 15 years undorneath alkali soil.

In the carry-on bag all i had to change him into was his Lollapaloza T-shirt, the 1994 one thats pink. To amuse himself he concontrated all 3 overhead air nozzels on the same single spot some poor guys bald head infront of us. At one point there was frost growin on it.

An ugly scene

The whole flight, thier was this other fellow 4 rows ahead of us who kept turnin around to gawk at us. I hate to say it but there was allot to gawk at. They guy wore a cap that said The Truth Is Out There. Granfather makes a penotrating stoneface stare straite back at him. The guy seemed to get more scared and turned around more.

Just as we begin our dessent into BWI Granps sits up a bit, glares at him like hes in a trance and starts whistling from his nostral. He can make an incredoble tin whistle sound from his nose. He said the whistle even hapens somtimes all by itself while hes smooching his ugly woman.

Wed just seen the latest X-Files 2-part eposode where a man goes into a trance on a plane that crashes into a UFO, so Granps starts whistling the X-Files theme. Not the part of the song with the undulating string chords in the backround, but the actual hipitched whistly tune:

"Wee WEE Wee-Wee WEE Wee..."

Then the old bastord starts shaking violently. Later he told me he was tryin to force up some of the dark blue liquod he drank from the airplaine toilet to come out from his eyes so he woud look like that guy Krycheck in the X-Files whose eyes washed over with that black oily stuff. But it woudnt work. Finaly the man gets up and comes over, even thuogh the Seat Belt light was on.

"What the hells your problem, Old man?"

Him and granfather get in a big fight & start screamin at each othor. A big burley flihgt atendent comes by and says if they dont stop now both there asses will spend the next night in the Marylond state jail.

As soon as the guy returns to his seat Granfather bites his lip making that familor grimace that can only mean hes ready to force out a huge fart. But instead, he pulls his cathetor out of his shirt, aims it to the back ofthe mans head & theres a slushy pop just as the man turns around & is loudley hit right on his forhead with this wad of infected spinachy stuff. Hangin off it is a long peice of red snot.

OK ILL STOP

It gets even more grosser after that but Ill END that part of the story for now...Mabye even for good.

We Finaly Arive

Uncle Zeke meets us at the gate. I told you him & granfather dont like eachother. Theyve spoke just 3 times in 5 years. Granfather and Uncle Willaim only spoke 2 times in 20 years. All three brothors are estrainged. It all regards acusations about 2 things: Money and colectibles. All 3 men collect mountains of crap. Uncle Zeke may even have more than granfather, im not sure. The big isseu will be when Wiliam dies as BOTH are eyeing HIS STUFF.

The Young Bastord