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My Uncle mutters that we might as well go stay at his house for the next 2 days before our flight back. Its like 3 hours away but by this time Uncle Willian was sick of us all (especialy Granfather) and said when he was ready to die hed call us and tell us.
When we got there it was very late. The ride out there was rathor uneventful ecxept for a minor incident when granfathor peered at the awful teethmark he put on his brothers neck, and anounced loudly to break the silence: LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT SOME HICKY THERE, BRO! SOME PURTY YOUNG GAL YOU A-COURTIN' BACK HOME DONE GIVE YOU THET THERE LOVE BITE?
Boy did he look pissed. But thankfuly a new brawl was avverted.
So this meant too that I also didnt have time to finish my Netly News colunm. I had to call the editor I deal with there and tell him. He was a real pain in the ass abbout it too. Plus Uncle Zeke made me call Netly colect and the editer didnt like that eithor. Bein an internet colunmist is NOT workin out that good as the way Id thuoght.
The next night during supper this big skinny grey cat named Albert was sittin there on the breakfront staring at me. He was so big and skinney it looked more like a greyhound than a cat. He atcually made his mouth in this hideous "O" shape and cried. Granfather looked back at the cat cackling and laughing and cryed back at it. I said to my uncle what the HELL does that danm cat want. He said he wanted some of the food in my dish so my uncle atcualy put his gigantic hornynailed hand in my plate and took a peice of meatloaf out of it and tossed it in the other room.
It was disgusting but atleast Albert got the hell out of there to chase aftor the meat. When he jumped off and his big paws plompted onto the floor the whole room shook. He had like eihgteen toes on each front paw too, at least it looked it. A big white fluffey cat with brown runny syruppy crap around his eyes imediatly asummed the position on the breakfront. This one kept bobbin his head like he had a hairboll in his throat that upon its own volition wanted to come up but that the cat wanted to keep down. At one point granfather had 2 cats on his part of the table and one more on his lap sharing his meal with him. Real appatizing ambiance to comploment the dining expereince letme tell you.
Abuot 5 minuts later i coud of swore that someone was sprinkling dirt on me from behind. So i ignoared it. Then i see some dirt go right ovor my shouldor into the dish and when i turn around i see just a foot away Albert is crapping in a jade plant and kickin up dirt and vermiculite right friggin onto me. Right as I sit there eating.
Cats kept jumping up. Cats kept jumpin down. Cats kept chasin eachother. All of it fast and with no warning. It was like the danm Chigoco Bulls were playing in the same room with us. In the moonlihgt I see 3 pair of scary eyes sittin on the dresser and also the chair where i had my clothes. i woke up in the middle ofthe night when one of the danm cats was growling and diggin his claws in my back & I started screaming. Granfather was in the room and he woke up too. He told me that the cat wasnt growling he was purring which meant he liked me. And also when they dig there claws in your back thats called 'making bread' and it also means the cat likes you even more.
So you bettor beleive i stayed pretty danm still.
I learn a fammily secret