Walter Miller Homepage



Granfaher Fammly Chess Set

NEW For 1997!

Two oposing armies. Lined up faccing each other on the board, ready to do battle. In our home, a flawed moral rellativity means there is no black and white--only shades of brown: One army is Light Puce, the other is a sort of Babystool mahogany. Plus the detailles and colors are Oh-So-Lifelike. Forget about the gold-platted Collector's Edition Monopolly set (althogh you may that choccolate editoin they made might come to mind)

The King: The old basterd himself. The Puce-coloured King is sittin in a wheelchair that really rolls. Pinch his head an the tobbaco jiuce shoots from his moulth. The Brown king is on the "throne" ready for action. Squeaze this one's head and--Um, yeah, you get the idea.

The Qeueen: Puce Queen: Granfathers current main squeeze. Cast from authentic rejjected molds during development of a never-used Jaba The Hut's mother charactor. Brown queen: My now-deceased granmother, compleat with hornes, tail an pitchfork, (which are her most probable current acessories). What a frightening woman. She was so evel that next to HER, granfather looks like the cute litle kid in the Jerry McGuire movie.

Castles: The atcual castle we live in--granfathers trailor, complete with parking lights that blink (batteries not included).

Bishops: The 4 of them are the Sherrif, Granfathers doctor (notice the pissed off face), his animal behavoiral specialist, and medical anomoly scientist. Each are holding a weapon.

Horses: Granfathers attack dogs--miserable emmaciated vegeteble-diet only canines.

Pauns: No, not little versions of WALTER holdin a bedpan as a sheild--All 8 are difforent! (Our choice only, based on suppley). Each represents a creature found here at the sprawling Miller compound: