Here are some of the optoins:
My dad's idea: Give him a DNA test. When the test results come back, Have him declared an animal and then have him put to sleep. (Yes it sounds funny and many of you are laughing right now--but it is tradgic that a man who is dirrectly dessended from him has to even think something like this). If the test comes back humman--then hes familly and were oblogated to care of him.
My brothers idea: Let him fend for himself. Send him back to texas in a shipping containor by UPS--hes not even worthy of travelling as a human. Give him a boxcutter so he can cut himself out when he gets home. Let him live in the trailor for the rest of his misorable life--ALONE. Aneyone who can beat up big Uncle Zeke, pick a hotel lock, an pourposely get feces ON THE CIELING of a hotel room can take care of himself.
My stepmouther's idea: Go to Chigaco an go on the Jenney Jones show or maybe Tempest or Montell. Let him do his thing and have the audiance yell and hoot at him, and make that circulor fist movement they do on the talk shows. It woud be an Intervention on a nationol scale. The only problem: People who like the shows will be mad becuase after reaching this new low, congress will close down all the trash TV shows.
Uncle Zekes idea: Donnate him as a living specimen to the goverment of Red China. First, fly to HongKong. Then call the Chinease embbasy. Say that hes a Wild Java man they found in the jungle who snuck across the border. Then tell them the Taiawannese also want him. (Then theyll keep him forever!). Theyll put him in a cage next to the pandas. Feed him rancid chicken so it will kill him.
Well the way it ended up they all voted for me to go back to Texas to take care of him. Granfather has propperty in Califonia that the familly has been renting. This money has been giong to pay my considorable debits. Until we think of somthing else, this was the best choice.
Im still in therapy here in Texas for a poorselfimage problem and Im biulding a good relatonship with my councilor. More updates are coming.
Go to a menu page of features
Copyright 1996, Walter Miller.
What do YOU think we shuold do with granfather? Or if you have coments - send E:mail- firstname.lastname@example.org