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August '96 Update

Page 2 of 7


"FEED THOSE DOGS YOU LITTLE JERK!"

Yes many times im out feeding the dogs. When the dogs howl cause there hungry I have to FEED THEM NOW, otherwise granfather howls even worse that he doesnt want to hear THEM howl anymore. I feel like Im livin in the friggin primate exibbit of the Sandeigo Zoo.

Another time he ran out of whisky and I had to drive 11 miles and then it was the wrong whisky and I had to go back. Im takin a chance because Im still 20 and you have to be 21 to buy it. But granfather complains ive ABANDONED him. Hes a goddam liar is what it is.

I wish my family coud understand that when he thretens me and yells to do something for him I have to obey. And then when Im gone he gets himself in trouble. No one understands. They want me to stand up to him and NOT do these things. But I just have problems standing up to him. My dad says DONT obey granfather--just do what your supossed to do. But I CANT. not WHEN GRANFATHERS YELLIN AT ME AN THREATENING ME.

Meanwile the old basterd is on the loose

By Around 6 AM he had made it only 50 miles away. It was since 1990 that he drove and it took him a long time. Plus when you have to steer with your teeth its hard. I wrote about how he rigged the car to drive it. Granfather is a diabollicol genius. I found diograms in his room on how to rig the car he drew on the back of adult diapor boxes with tobacco juice. These diagrams were under his matress. Also hid in the matress were pictures of the woman I love with her face pasted onto other peoples dirty nakkad pitcures he made color inkjet prints of from the web. I imagine he was in the middle of planning some sort of prank.

Granfather planned his whole escape behgind my back. Sneaky, craftey, wiley, shiftey surrepticiously conniving decietful gristley old basterd.

Theres a town 50 milles away which isnt really a town where granfather made his first stop at a convenneince store to buy some smokes and to use the restroom. Its ben quite a while since he ate the giant Reagan cheese. No, now that hes returned he STILL hasnt gone to the bathroom yet but hes ben having what the doctor refers to as a sort of an intestinol False Labor.

Loves Labors Lost

Granfather is the first customer of the day. He wheels in the restroom and props himself up there and starts makin horribel grunting noises. I KNOW the noises I hear them every day but to the unassailed ear its horrofying. It sounds like the soundtrack to the tortore chamber in Indiana Jones and the Tempel of Doom when there pulling the body parts out of the guy when hes still alive.

The store owner goes over and bangs on the door with an ax handel and says WHAT THE HELLS GOING ON. The door swings open an granfathers sort of squating there half buttnaiked with the wheelchair over to one side, and one end of his cane hooked onto the sink with the other end gripped in both hands so he doesnt fall in the bowl and the diaper is down to his knees.

WHAT THE HELLS IT LOOK LIKE GOINS ON?

Granfather yells at the guy because he has one of those giant toilet papper rolls thats the size of a Caddilac wheel that you cant get a grip on to pull paper off of. So all you end up with is these peices of paper the size of a postage stamp. It takes a lot of them to wipe your butt. But granfather coudnt crap I geuss the matter is moot.

I dont know who hit who first but they get in a big fight which descends into sort of a peverse fencing match with an ax handel and a retractable metal cane an granfather gets thrown out of the store and also the restroom mirror got broke and plus the soap resevoir thing fell and there was a pool of liqiuid handsoap all over the floor.

Granfather got the best of the fight as he was still wearing the large animol-style cardboard collar to keep him from bitting his wounds. So his ugly face was protected by blows. But at the same time this coller prevented the poor store owner from getting bit so it was a blessing in desguise.

CONTINUED: lets go to the videotape