Walter Miller Homepage

Proof that people in rural areas shoudnt be allowed on the web

August '96 Update

Page 4 of 8


At 2 in the afternoon the sherrif where I live called me to say there was a report of this type of behavvoir taking place two or 3 counties up from us, but this time there was no troumatized youngsters in the car to tell him when a curve was commin up.

Granfathers ugly face is startleing even 20 feet away through 2 panes of glass. A pickup truck behind granfather almost drove off the road when the driver realized that this wasnt just some prankstor with a rubber Holloween mask on the back of his head. The man in the pickup admited that he was tailgaiting a 1970 Dodge Dart Swinger when the drivers grimmacing visage curiousley rotated backward to face him head on. The man said he had the shit scaired out of him.

Its not against the law (acording to the Sheriff) to rottate your head around while driving at least if you never lose control of the car. In fact your even suposed to look behind you at certain times. There doesnt appear to be any specific Texas Moter Vehcle law against my granfather.

Finally he arrives at the show

In the afternoon he shows up at the collectoble show. Its held in a big flea market feild and granfather wheels around dragging a childs wagon behind him thats lashed behind the wheelchair. There was allot of witnesses because he was a spectacle. Also he smells really bad.

Getting in he made a scene. He yelled that he was a sennior citezen and didnt want to pay for parking and admmision but there was no charge for either so he was made a big stink about nothing. In less than an hour he bought a whole bunch of crap. The wagon was filled with old car parts like brass lanterns, fenders and exhuast pipes, rusty tools, hupcaps, old oil cans and lots of new stuff like pogs and Nascar tradding cards and other wax packs and a reprouduction tin Aunt Jamima sign. He spent $800 on this garbage.

He also bought one of those t-shirts with the moddified stick figure man that is a parity of the Volkswaggin ad campaigne about Farvfegnuggan. Instead of driving, the stick man is sitting on a toilat with sweat drops on his head and it says "Far-From-Poopin." Maybe youve seen these shirts. He always wanted one. Granfather speaks a little german and once told me that Farvegnuggan doesnt mean what most Americons think it and really means something like 'bad sourkrout fart' or some other Germon insult.

E.T -- Write home

A small startup web hosting company had set up at a stall. They had a live remote hookup of the Internet. Granfather wheals over there an strikes up a conversation.

He tells them that hes the famous old crankey mutant of Web Lore. But the people never heard of my homepage. So he tells them about it and they do a search and what do you know they pull up my home page. It was displayed on a big screen so allot of people saw it. Granfather gets on the system they have for people to play around on. In the part where you can write e-mail to me he wrote me this note which is repproduced here:

--------------------------------------------------------
Prodigy Mail: Personal Message 07/20/1996
--------------------------------------------------------
To: Walter Miller
Subject: Re: HELLO WALTER
Sent On: 07/20 16:17 PM PM ET

}Date: Sat, 20 Jul 1996 16:48:00 -0400
}From: XXXXXXXXXXXX@aoL.com [XXXXXXXXXX@aol.com]
}Subject: Re: HELLO WALTER
}
}HELLO BOY. I AM HAVING FUN HERE AT THE SHOW
}LOTS OF GOOD LOOKING TAIL. THERE IS A MAN
}HERE WHO PROVIDES WEB SERVICES AND I AM WRITING
}YOU THIS MESSAGE FROM HIS STALL. THEIR WORK
}LOOKS GOOD. NOT LIKE SOME PEOPLE WHO USE NO
}ARTWORK. BE BACK MONDAY NIGHT. I AM STILL
}CHEESEBOUND. TAKE CARE OF MY DOGS ESPECIALLY
}NEMO, AND JANET WAS NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD
}EITHER WHEN I LEFT THIS MORNING. THEY ARE
}TELLING ME NOT TO USE ALL CAPITAL
}LETTERS BUT THEY CAN KISS MY ASS.
}
}REGARDS,
}
}YOUR GRANDFATHER

The XXX's in the FROM area are where I deleted the other guy's email ID. Janet and Nemo are 2 of his dogs. One day I will write about granfather's dogs. Also notice how well he writes and spells. Theres no typoes. I told you he was smart.

CONTINUED: PLEASE LEAVE MISTER