Walter Miller Homepage

I guess this is what some poeple call value-add content

August '96 Update

Page 5 of 7


Just before he leaves granfather has to leave his mark. He hops up from the wheelchair and pulls himself to lean on his elbows onto their table as if to take some company literatore. While hes in this position he 'ACIDENTOLLY' pees on a server they have under the table but you know its not an accident. He whizzed on the side of the cabinet not the front so it wasnt damaged.

Granfather makes a loud evil hiddeous laugh. I GUESS YOU CAN CALL ME A COMPUTER WHIZ CANT YOU? HA HA! He also told them in a few weeks when he makes Number 2 hell be a 'CHEESE WIZZ'.

Now REAL problems begin

The hot sun was beatin on him and maybe he got dellerious. He started complaining louddly at some stalls arguin about price. If it says $8 on something granfather will offer 50 cents to start. Its very annoying.

As soon as I got granfather's e-mail I called my dad again who was franticly calling everyone in the meantime. I said there was a few sigtings of him an that readers of my homepage were tracking him thru the state.

WHAT HOMEPAGE?

My family doesnt get on the Web that much but dad has Compouserve. He knew i had a hompage but was unnaware of the extent of it. He had someone at work find it fior him. He was horrofied but figured maybe no one looks at it. Then they searched by LINK in Atlavista and saw how many people are linking to it and also a Hot Bot search.

BOY WAS HE PISSED

If there are hundreds of links to my site there must be thousands of readers. Dads horror grew to anger. He has a subdewed personality and rarely raises his voice but HE WAS PISSED BIG TIME. My steppmother got on the phone and was very quiet and she seemed to be sympothetic to my problems and all of our worries about granfather missing but I coud tell she was rather disturbed as well about my website and the detail it goes into. They must of told my brother too because he called after hed read the WHOLE WEBSITE and scraemed at me THANKS WALTER NOW OUR FAMILYS THE LAUGHINSTOCK OF THE WORLD YOU ASSWHOLE.

I explained Im an artist and i hope to be a published author one day. My brother said YEAH maybe in a damn freak journol on the page next to granfather.

Back at the show...

Meanwhile granfather contineued to be more of a disturbence as the day wore on. He demanded to see the people in charge of the show. He yelled at them that in the past colectibble shows had mostly the older stuff he likes but now theres too much NEW merchandice. Well he hasnt been to any fleamarkets for a few years now and things change. There was allot of screamin and one of the show prommoters told him if he didnt like it he should leave.

OK THEN ILL LEAVE!

Granfather yelled at them THIS SHOW SUCKS. He demanded a reffund. There was no addmision charge but to avoid a scene they gave the old crank a doller and told him to get the hell out of there. Then he demmended to have his hand stamped so he coud get back in if they wanted.

But there was no handstamping becuase there was no entry fee. So someone at one of the booths happened to have a stamp an they obliged the old stupid monstor by stamping OVER DUE on his ugley gnarled claw-like hand. Considering how he smells, OVER RIPE would of been more accurrate.

So he wheeled out toward the exit very fast. Granfathers VERY strong and can get that whelchair going 20 MPH on a straightaway. He knocked over a display of hommeade cerammic Christmas decoratoins on his way out. A few broke. He hollered CRAFTS DONT BELONG AT AN ANTIQUE SHOW AND I AINT PAYING FOR THEM. On his way out he decides to make one more try for the road...

ANYONE IN THERE? HURRY IT UP!

There was a row of those green plastic outhouses on the edge of the field an granfather figoures he might as well make a try of it before heading home. The way he searches for availabillity isnt to look to see if the little red flag on the door says OCCUPIED or not but to pound on the door an start hollerin.

CONTINUED: You can guess what hapened