In this world, you they say you eithor lead, or you follow. But lateley i am just spending most of my time sittin on my ass waiting for webpages to load.
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Do you know how when you are at somone's house peeing, how enbarassing it is for people to hear you? This hapens allot when you live in a trailer, and Ive noticed that many of our guests run the sink water or turn on the cieling fan. Well, by the time i realized I was makin so much noise, i coud not REACH the sink faucat, or the wall switch because it was such a danm big bathroom.
Well it by the time it was all finnished, it was a huge leak I made. Granfather pees mabye 20 times a day beccause he is old, but me, I am like a camel. When i finaly DO go, it can take like seven minuts, or so it seems. I had asparogus the night before and also Ive been taking vitomins and iron pills, plus I am on a certian meddication i do not like to talk about, and to make a long story short my rather concentraited whiz against the white bowl was this increddible dark bright yellow color like movie house popcorn oil with a klieg lamp shining on it ecxept it had this fluroescent quality to it.
WHY am i telling you all this? Becuase I was looking at it a long time: Why did i look at it a long time? BECAUSE THE TOILAT DIDNT FLUSH.
It was unbearoble. i did not want to go out with this girl now eithor. It was all over. ALL OVER, I tell you.
I coudnt keep track of the time but I later found out that it was 35 minutts I was in there. Belive me I had thoght about lifting the giant porcelian tank covor and seeing if I coud pull the float bar, or perhapps re-atach the lever chain or somthing like that; (I assure you, living with Granfather, I am an expert in fixing toilets)--but i chickoned out.
But I KNEW if I had tried, with my luck, my awful, horroble terible luck, I was positive the covor woud of slipped from my hands and smashed into thuosand smithoreens on the cerramic tiles.
After ten minutes of hearing, "Did this guy fall in there or WHAT" finally Darlenes father knocked on the door and said "You allright in there son?"
I opened it and started talkin real fast, "Oh Crap, your toilat wont flush Im so sorry i broke it Im so so so so sorry."
He told me to calm down, and said, "WELL LETS TAKE A LOOK." So he liftad up the lid. There was my wee in there blazing like the sun, because right abbove on the ceilling was one of those halojin heat lamps that I once saw on the news you can fry a steak on.
Looking at your own bodilly waste with a strangor is enbarassing I'd always thought, but this was the least of my probbloms.
They are both holding there mouths. Alls I can do is point to the bowl and say in a cracking voice very deffensively "THAT DOES NOT BELLONG TO ME."
She told me in a stilted yet kindly and very low voice that they just recieved ovor the telephone some very bad news regarding Darlene's grandmothor.
I decidded to be a little bit of a pain in the ass and so I said, (very politely), "In THIS house? I didnt hear no phone ring." In any case i told her that i was sorry that she died, and that i undorstood that Darline realy did want to go out with me but undor the circomstances it woud not be posible today.
On the way home, all i coud think of was, i wish I woud of asked both Darlene and her mother separatley was it her mother's mother or father's mothor who just died. MABYE NEXT TIME.