Walter Miller's Homepage

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
-Vice President Al Gore

May update 1999 (yes i know its July)

Page 7 of 8


I am a jerk

You woud think that Blankenship wanted somthin inportant, like rope, or shotgun shells or industriol solvents which is what you oughto have on hand when when Granfather is gonna make a crap for the first time in a few months. But no, he wanted me to get him some danm battories for his freakin camera. Its one of those pain in the ass cameras too that dosent take normol bateries but insted this little weird lithium cell thing that looks like a goat pellet.

Theres only one store in the whole danm county that carreys them and they are on the Business Route in our town. Why am i a jerk? I am a jerk becuase I did not take my car. Insted I coght a ride with Junior to his house which is right near the store. Junior was so frightenned by Granfather's weird antics that he did not want to be alone on the ride back. He is realy sort of feebolminded. I didnt plan for any way to get the six miles back to my danm trailor.

Ive wrote before that Cathyann, my friend, lives on the same street as Junoir, exept down a block. So i took a walk ovor there, to explained the situaton of my needing a ride and to ask her for a ride. Aftor all she owed me a ride from the othor day, cause I drove her home from our house.

Cathyann's mother was outside standin on the porch gripping the hem of her housedress fluffin it up high in the air, sayin, "Whoo! Lemme cool off!," and when I say high in the air i mean too high for a town like this.

"How bout this heat?," she grinned. The womon only had two teeth and they were on the bottem and far apart like an inpossible spare in bowling. They stuck up like bulldog fangs even when she closed her mouth.

"Mah gal is inside the house gittin' herseff purtied up. Go on in an' wait for her."

Then she hollored in the bathroom window, which looked out on the porch that a "young man" (me) was waitin on her.

I wait inside for her

Cathyann's house is kindof strange with old newspapers sort of glued on the wall as wallpapper. The porch and house are filled with cans bottols and stacks of papers as Cathyann's mother is a militant recycling fannatic. (Granfather has the same piles of trash scattored all around our filthy sprawling compound, but Granfather you must remmember is a mentally ill collector of crap and garbege.)

There are no chairs in Cathyanns house. At least none empty so you coud sit on them as there all piled with recyclobbles that no one ever picks up. While the mothor went back outside to fluff undorneath herself I sat inside the dark living room on a stack of old bean cans crushed flat and wrapped in string waitin for my freind to the sounds of her grunt while behind the door she took a dump.

Cathyann drives me home

It is only six miles to my house and there was no trafic but still she drove so danm slow. She took her mothor's car which is this old '77 (I think) Impala or Caprice with no mufflor and also no air conditoining and had these fake buttery leathor seats that your ass sticks to no mattor the temperature. She had been drinking, I thoght.

"Naw, I'm sober as a fence post," she said. I didnt realy mind her drivin slow cause I was tellin her a little about the problems I was havin with Granfather. About one mile from where you make the right turn off the state Highway on the dirt road to Granfather's property, she veered the car to the shouldor and it stopped in a cloud of orange claydust.

"Can't hear a word you're sayin' with Mama's muffler gone!" she said. Yes I have a soft weak voice and the car was very loud.

"Lets watch the sun go down," she said sudenly in her loud almost barking raspy voice.

"Its an hour to sundown atleast," I said, and not only that, it shone strait in our faces in the car. Somtimes it is a dry heat we have but this day it was quite humid.

"Then lets play strip poker," she said.

I told her that this was NOT a good idea cause me and her WERE ONLY FREINDS.

Then she luaghed really loud. "I'm just playin with your head, Walt. Besides, whats the hurry?"

"I told Dr. Blankenship i woud get him this camera baterry..."

"Walter," said Cathyan cuttin me off, "He ain't nothin but a monkey doctor. If it weren't for yer Grampaw he'd be up a tree in Canada somwhere chasin' Bigfoot."

Cathyann went on to tell me that i have to learn to stand up for myself and not let people bully me.

"Yep, I used to have problems myself, back when I used to drink too much. 'Course, since now I drink in moderation, I'm the one in charge," she said.

We sat there and openned up to eachother about our problems; most of her problems took place years ago, and most of my problems, well they are still contineuing from severol years back even into today. It is not fun being in therapy for so long, and me and her talked about it.

Prety soon Cathyann was doing most of the talking.

She never stops talkin.