I appollogize for it being so bad. Yes i know its crappy. But thanks for still readin.
Page 8 of 8
She has this loud droning boring convorsational way about her that when she bleats and thundors along in her hoarse monotone you can actualy lose track of what she's saying. Before i knew it the sun was nearley all the way down.
"...So, like, next thing I knew," (said Cathyann), "I woke up butt nekid and covered with puke in this strange apartment up in Wichita Falls (and I ain't never even BEEN to Wichita Falls), lyin' next to a strange, ugly guy to the sound of this strange dog going, 'lap! lap! lap!' and you dont WANT to know whut he was hoovering up right thar below me on the floor...So, like, Walt, what's the craziest-ass thing YOU ever done?"
"What are you stairing at?" she said sudenly, "This here moustache?"
I didnt say nohin.
"I cain't help it, Walt. Its from my hormone medication."
Cathyann had to take speciel medicine for a knee injury, or somthin like that.
"Somtimes them hormones make me real talkative," she said through seemingly much more hairier lips with giant beads of sweat settoled on them, "And somtimes they just make me moan like a whore ...Get it? Hormones? The pharmacist tole me that one."
"Cathyann I shoud really go back home," I said.
"How bout instead we sit here close and cuddly," she said, ovbiously tryin to be sultrey and romantic, "And fog up these winders here on Mama's car.
I said very authorotatively, "NO!"
"Then open the damn door, an' lets make love in the prickly pears," she said. I replied pollitely, "NO THANK YOU, those cactus prickols are sharper than they look."
I am a jerk a second time as well, becuase what I shoud of said was just the plain "no thank you", as not to lead her on and give her an option that I was open to her sugestion IN ANY WAY.
Then she said somthin that made me laugh, and this is the dificult part of our relationship because Cathyann allways makes me luagh. I enjoy her company but not in a sexoul way. What she said to me that made me laugh was, "Come on Walt. Splay me out nekkid in them sharp scratchey prickles, my ass itches."
I luaghed and for a second did not pay atention to what was going on and the next thing i knew I was in that horroble scene from Jurrassic Park where poor Newman from Seinfeld gets atacked in the front seat of the jeep by that yellow bannana headed small dinosaur who stands on two feet that has the expandible Elizabethen collor. You know the scene. Where it just lunges at him and the whole danm car shakes. With the force of a freight train Cathyann's bare belly below her tube top slammed into my chest with a thousend G's. I coudnt get away. My head hit the passengor side door very hard and then she was ontop pinning me down with her weihgt and movin her hands under my shirt sqeueezing my legs extremly hard between her knees. Somhow I shifted position so I was layin on the frontseat on my side and then she slid down on her side too tearin my clothes and squeezin my pectorols with her hands cause she was much strongor than me grunting and sweattin like a hog. Soon I was gruntin too exept it was from tryin to fight her off. Her hands slid up my ribcage and with her thumbs in my armpits she pushed me flat on my back. Without removing her hands her thick meaty fingors then slid up ovor my shoulders and then down my flailing arms till her blunt fists held my wrists tight and I coudnt move them. She sat up on me sittin her butt on my stomoch while holding my wrists as I started bucking and thrashing to get away. At one point Cathyann's head banged on the roof of the car and this must of dislogded the fabric cause it soon hung down limp like we were inside a deflated tent.
My back and ribs were gettin crushed. Also I was in pain cause there was this wire-reinforced piping trim on the fake buttery leathor of the carseat that was torned open and a long peice of wire was stickin me in the leg.
Cathyann was out of controle. Have you ever seen those mechanicol bulls they have in Texas saloons which were in style back in the 1980s thanks to the Urban Cowboy movie where patrons used to see how long they coud ride them to impress there dates? Well this sounds silly but imagine one of them mounted upside down with the base bolted to the cieling and turned on high while it lashed and pummeled and ground you into some smelly carseat, crushed like a pill in a pestle.
Cathyann's mothor's chevrolet Inpala also had no shocks and it was bouncin arround like crazy and I coudnt see nothin but at some point a truck passed by us and honked like crazy with someone laughin and yelling Whoo-EEEE!
Slowly I regained some levorage and I treid to sit up but before I knew it her knees were on my chest stradoling me and pinning me so I coudnt move. Then she stared at me with a drooly grin on her face.
Then all of a suddon it got realy, realy horroble. One of Cathyanns arms, her left arm swung foward and landed out of sight on the oposite side of her. Then her right arm crossed ovor her left and landed onto her left side. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her fingors curled arround the lowermost edges of her sopping tube top. Then in one swift move she made a snorty noise from her throaght and pulled her arms way up conpletly removing the tube top which quickley closed arround her forhead like some sort of awful stretch knit turban as her naked udders white and ghastley in contrast to the rest of her flushed freckled burnt peach skin flopped fulley into view. It as so friggin disgousting i thoght I was goin to throw up. Then her big wobbly white treetrunk like torso of flesh then colappsed on top of me once agian. I moved my head to one side, and then the othor side but her face folowwed my every move. Her moulth opened and then the tounge came out like a giant predatorry fish from its lair and just inches from my face but with all my strength even thruogh clammy stomoch turning trembling I cletched my teeth closed as tight as i coud and then sudenly with a sharp pain her knee lurched foward and nailed me square in the balls. I gasped for just a fractoin of a second and when I did at that moment her giant face closed in and have you ever seen those nature shows where they show the side veiw of a lake, where a cormorant suddenley plunges in instantly diving his neck fast and deep into the water to grab at a fish? This is what her tounge did. I sware I thoght I felt the danm thing bust straite thruogh to the backof my neck. I felt my own tuonge being sucked out my mouth by the roots as she thrashed her head arround like a turkey vulture pullin at some poor dryed out horse carcass with leathery stringey flesh that wont break free. It was singulorly the most horifying, scariest, unpleasent, most frightenning and most disgousting non-Granfather-related moment of my entire life.
Then just when I thoght it was over she pulled her head away and a (sorry, this is gross), but a stringey strand of drool linked us as she pulled back to tak a breath and then she dove in agian. Her danm tuonge attacked me agian like a frigin snake. The next thing i knew i was uncounscoius. And the next thing aftor that, well, both me and Cathyann had our shirts off and was covored with bloodey scratches and were tryin to explian to the sheriff what hapenned. Please tune in to my next update in a few weeks to read about it. I am writing this at work, and rihgt now I have to stop writing to go bak to the bathroom to throw up.