Walter Miller Homepage

CAUTION: All stunts performed by a profesionol sub-human monstrosity on a closed track. Do not atemmpt.

2/97 Update

Page 6 of 8


I WONT lie in court for him

He wheeled me in a corner & poked me with his cane screamin I LOVE ANIMOLS DAMMIT THEY CAINT DO THIS TO ME; WHAT ABOUT THE BIRDS? He demanded i testify hes 'animal freindly' as they say (and i guess compared to how he treats humans perhaps he is). He wanted me to LIE and say he resceus injured puppies & kitens (yeah right) but I said I cant lie in court..

(His refrence to the birds is that somtimes out in the yard small birds land on granfather to pick seeds and bugs off his hair & scruffley neck an chest. Somtimes he falls asleep with his head back and moulth open, and giant Texas black magpies pick crap outof his teeth like birds do for crocodiles in the wild.)

He said that once Im undor oath I better LIE LIKE A RUG AND BE SINGIN' LIKE SARA VOUGHN AN DANCIN LIKE FRED ASTAIR to suport his claim--cause if he loses custedy of just ONE DOG hed blame me then chain me by my neck in the yard and make me eat out of Nemo's bowl. Nemos very sloborry with rotten teeth, runny nose & eyes--even the other dogs find him disgusting. Hes the olny dog with his own bowl the others wont eat near him or even let him sniff there butts.

Granfather slapped me with his big hairy paws, the whelchair pinning me hard aganst the formica wall.

YOU LITTLE WUSSY BASTORD!! he holared, spittin an dribblin stringy snot. He grabed a small bit of skin on my chest betwen his thumb & forfinger twistin it hard. Theres not allot of meat there an it hurt like hell.

Hand-to-claw combat

I grabed his hand an started cryin and said STOP IT. With his other hand he took his trusty teaspoon from his shirtpocket an hit my knuckols with it then pushed an wiggled the spoon betwen 2 of my ribs. He was smokin this very long Nicoraguan cigar an he leaned his neck foward to burn my arm but I yanked it out of his mouth. He clawed & scratched me with his hourny antlerlike nails; there real long & curvy and dug and gouged my flesh like a melon baller.

Crappin in his pants

I was near the spicerack-I grabed the tin of white peppor then slid the opening from SIFT to POUR and poofed the grizly old sideshow atraction right in his barbarric yellow reptilian vertical pupil eyes. He woud of killed me if the phone didnt ring.

It was his girlfreind's older sister, the one who caused all this truoble. She snikers at him in her Col. Potter voice YER CRAPPIN IN YER PANTS AINT YOU GRAMPY? Now, he ALWAYS craps in his pants for many reasons but never for fear as he fears NOTHING. By now I was weeping loud and he yelled QUIT BAWLIN YOU BIG FAIRY. He told the woman it was HER that was makkin me cry. He held upthe phone for her to listen.

Y'HEAR WALTER? HE'S LAMENTING HIS OLD GRAMPY BEIN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW and told her i was whimperin cause I was upset about losing him! It was such a outraggous thing to say it made me cry more. He swiched to speakerphone an said HEAR THAT BITCH? YER BREAKIN HIS LITTLE FAGOT HEART.

I ran in my room an threw myself on my bed burreid my face in the pillow an cryed for 10 minutes. Then I got on the extensoin and heard much of the convorsaton. This woman acused granfather of stealin stuff from her house over Christmas. (The old guy DID have a bunch of new Precous Moment figourines on our shelf plus some small criystal elephents i never saw.

Your cheatin heart

She made a scaithing acusation: He tryed to pick up other women durin that visit in other words cheatin on her sister. YORE FULLA CRAP he growled back. But she named a place and a time; the 3 of them were at the Orbit Room at Deep Ellum-Dallas and the 2 hags got up to powdor there noses; WHY WIMMIN HAFTA ALWAYS PISS TOGETHERS BEYOND ME granfather always grumbols but this time it alowed him to scope out other females and the mean old shrew bat claims she came out ofthe bathroom first and saw the old basterd leer at a cute girl and ask her if she needed a 'sugor daddy.' The old crone said it was just when Helen's Ready started jammin--she even frikkin knew the name of the band.

Granfather was outraged an holered at her and then said WALTER GIT OFF THET EXTENSION or else hed rip all my giblets out thru my throat with his bare hands then microwave them into one big hard knobby mass to use as a doorstop. This is the sort of threat i live with evory day.

Lord of the Fleis