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(His refrence to the birds is that somtimes out in the yard small birds land on granfather to pick seeds and bugs off his hair & scruffley neck an chest. Somtimes he falls asleep with his head back and moulth open, and giant Texas black magpies pick crap outof his teeth like birds do for crocodiles in the wild.)
He said that once Im undor oath I better LIE LIKE A RUG AND BE SINGIN' LIKE SARA VOUGHN AN DANCIN LIKE FRED ASTAIR to suport his claim--cause if he loses custedy of just ONE DOG hed blame me then chain me by my neck in the yard and make me eat out of Nemo's bowl. Nemos very sloborry with rotten teeth, runny nose & eyes--even the other dogs find him disgusting. Hes the olny dog with his own bowl the others wont eat near him or even let him sniff there butts.
Granfather slapped me with his big hairy paws, the whelchair pinning me hard aganst the formica wall.
YOU LITTLE WUSSY BASTORD!! he holared, spittin an dribblin stringy snot. He grabed a small bit of skin on my chest betwen his thumb & forfinger twistin it hard. Theres not allot of meat there an it hurt like hell.
It was his girlfreind's older sister, the one who caused all this truoble. She snikers at him in her Col. Potter voice YER CRAPPIN IN YER PANTS AINT YOU GRAMPY? Now, he ALWAYS craps in his pants for many reasons but never for fear as he fears NOTHING. By now I was weeping loud and he yelled QUIT BAWLIN YOU BIG FAIRY. He told the woman it was HER that was makkin me cry. He held upthe phone for her to listen.
Y'HEAR WALTER? HE'S LAMENTING HIS OLD GRAMPY BEIN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW and told her i was whimperin cause I was upset about losing him! It was such a outraggous thing to say it made me cry more. He swiched to speakerphone an said HEAR THAT BITCH? YER BREAKIN HIS LITTLE FAGOT HEART.
I ran in my room an threw myself on my bed burreid my face in the pillow an cryed for 10 minutes. Then I got on the extensoin and heard much of the convorsaton. This woman acused granfather of stealin stuff from her house over Christmas. (The old guy DID have a bunch of new Precous Moment figourines on our shelf plus some small criystal elephents i never saw.
Granfather was outraged an holered at her and then said WALTER GIT OFF THET EXTENSION or else hed rip all my giblets out thru my throat with his bare hands then microwave them into one big hard knobby mass to use as a doorstop. This is the sort of threat i live with evory day.
Lord of the Fleis