Walter Miller's Homepage

Running out of smarmy stuff to write here.

Early March 1999 Update

Page 3 of 5


On the new org Chart: There is a blank box spot in the spot for whoever the "new" manager of my department will be, which reads "To Be Determinned." And, as hapenns all the time, evereyone above that box has been promotted up a notch. If you count the Asociate Vice Presidents. We now have more Vice Presidants in the company than we have programers.

I turn the corner and go down the long, long hall back toword my desk and I see aproching from the othor direction a young woman, who as she gets closer I notice looks more and more familor. She is lookin at me too, and by the time we meet up she is stairin at me with rude, bugged out eyes which are wordlessley saying to me, "What the hell are you lookin at?"

I stammer to her, "Hi. Do I know you?" She is the most spectaculorly ugly womon I have ever seen in my life.

"You were making out with me at Tom's New Years Eve party, and man I must of been drunk off my ass," she says real angry, while lookin at me up and down.

I started to wondor if...Nah, she coudnt be my secrat admiror.

I descide what the hell: I will do it

I am talkin about gettin my ear peirced. If this is the kindof womon I am meeting, well then things cant get much worce than this. (I will tell you how hard up i am: If this girl wasnt so frowning and mean, I probly woud of asked her out agian. Yes i not only have a lowself esteam, I am desperate.)

Then on the way home from work I drove ovor to my freind Cathyann's house. She is a girl who lives in my town who I am freinds with. I remmember her talkin about peircing some girl's ear once in junior high, and I wondored if she woud do it for me.

When I got there Cathyann and her mother were eatin supper alone because their two boyfreinds, Duwayne and Earl D. werent there cause they were on the othor side of the state at a gun show. (Earl D. is the one who is Cathyann's boyfreind. Duwayne is Earldee's cousin, or halfbrothor or somthing, and he is Cathyann's mother's boyfreind, but he used to be Cathyann's boyfrend -- I know, its disgousting.)

They invited me in and I explianed that i was in the mood to get my ear peirced and this is somthing that I know a woman can do.

"Sure what the hell, Ill pearce your ear," she said.

For supper they were both eatin white Itallian beans straihgt out of the can which they heated up directly on the stove. Cathyann's mothor is a nice lady but she is a militant recyclor and part of saving the enviroment (so she feels), is not havin to waste water on cleaning dishes and pans, and you acomplish this by heating and eating foods right out of the can. They are low class Texas folk who live in a ramshackol old house in town with newspappers flour-pasted in all the rooms as wallpaper.

"DuWayne pours out all that nice ole bean goop, but Earldee, me and Mama just LUUVE it," said Cathyann, while her mothor gave me a grin thruogh the mashed Italien beans that was very fanglike cause her front four teeth werent there.

"Git on thet stool bwah, and let my gal poke thet sweet lobe," she said.

Cathyann got very very close to me (which she allwayes does and it maks me unconfortoble). She is a heavey girl with a loud raspey voice and short thick hair and a huge flat face and she sweatts allot.

She got this needle from a sowing kit and some peroxide and heatted the needle on the stove and then just when I wasnt readdy she pulled on my ear hard with one hand and stuck me with it hard with the othor.

Blood got evereywhere and I screammed. So she got a wad of papper towols and sloshed some perroxide on it and patted my ear. It splashed allover the place. I asked Cathyann if she ever peirced an ear before and she said "Hell no," and then her mothor said, "Might as well tell him, Girly-Girl," (which is her nickname for her), and so then Cathyann said finaly to me, "Danm, Walt you oughto know were both drunk off our ass.

Yeah right thanks allot. Then the phone rang and it was Earldee at the gunshow. She told him what hapenned and they all three luaghed there ass off. Earl Dee too cause I coud hear him lauaghin.

That night at home I was feelin so sick that I coudnt even eat supper. I kept burping up the danm supper from the restuarant. I had begun to reallize that I had not eatan or crapped since eating that danm British-style Preservattive Free Lamb Sausege.

I went straight to my room when I got home and by that time my ear felt like it was burned off. I looked in the mirrer and to my horror it was all bright red while my normaly brown hair near my whole ear area was brihgt yellow from the freakin peroxide.

Oh, crap

I put a wool cap on and went in to feed Granfather but the nosy old basterd he is grabbed the hat off my head.

"WHUT HAPENED TO YOU, BWAH? YOU DONE LOOK LIKE BEEN WRASSLIN' WITH A GRIZ'LY BAR!"

I expleaned what hapened and the mean basterd berrated me. He is such a pomppous ass.

"GITTIN YER EAR PEARCED? LIKE A DANM ENGLISH OR FRENCH FAIRY?" he screammed. "AIN'T YOU GOT ENUFF HOLES IN YER HAID?"

I treid to ignoar the old basterd.