Walter Miller Homepage

"In the spirit of Rabelais, the dark use of scatalogy in Walter Miller's Home Page...is not humourous but very serious, a crafty, deliberate mockery of Western decadence...(It) mocks the culture of Hollywood and thus all America."
-- From a 9/96 report of the Internet by the Official News Service of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Post Holiday 1/97 update

Page 4 of 8


Hee-Haw and Merry Christmos

On Satorday Its A Wondorful Life was on NBC and the old beast had to watch it and ape evory word of it--he has the damn script memarized. Natouraly his hero is Mr Potter cause hes the worlds meanest basterd plus is in a wheelchair too--Sound familor? As you know his favrite scene is with Mr Gower the drugist. I wrote in my last update how granfater likes when Nick spreys him with the seltzor bottle.

But the abusive ogre also REALY likes the part in the begining when Jimmy Stuart is a little boy and Mr Gowor is drunk and screams at him with the cigar cletched in his teeth and hes hittin him in the ear. If you EVOR want to know what granfathors voice is like turn up the TV voloume as loud as it coud go when that scenes on AND THATS THE SOUND OF GRANFATHER. Of course me and my brother have vivid scars from our youth of watchin that movie with the old monster whod hit us and NOT STOP till we said DONT HIT MY SORE EAR NO MORE MR GOWER ITS POISON I TELL YOU, POISON.

An acident at home

OK somthing hapened on the 23rd that was my fault. One of my projects is to fix up one corner of one shed for granfathers hot tub plus a area for his weights before it gets too cold. Its a couregated metal shed and I was puttin in flooring and electrocal plus drywall.

I cut threw the wires with the Saws-All by misteak and when i tryed to fix it i wrecked our circut box. The Electricien cant come over til the 27th. Also they say to measure twice and cut once and i measored wrong both times and messed up lots of presure treated wood--it costs ALLOT.

Gramps was furious

No, not angry and throwin a violent fit like when he sees Marc Russel on PBS or when he relizes hes watching Party of 5 on Fox instead of Melrose Place by mistake when he sees there not takkin there clothes off. No he was mad but in the way that gives him delihgt cause it was a chance to fink me out to my famly. He starts in with that condesending high-falutin tone of superiorety that olways begins: IM CALLIN YOUR FATHER YUONG MAN.

So he got dad on speakorphone with the old girlfrend next to him and me sittin there at the kitchon table too like Im on trial. He proceads to go over point by point in his paitronizing arogant contemptuous tone how irosponsible I am. The familir term 'The White Urkle' was used more than once. Then the old squaw pipes up with this very sweet line of B.S. just psycoanalizing all the problems in my life to my stepmom and dad like shes friggin Dr Jocye Brothers. Not one word of course about her peein with the door OPEN and flashing me with her baggy saggy uddors.

I sat there with my arms foldad very quiet and real mad. Granfather said over and over WHEN ARE YOU GOINGTO BE A MAN INSTAED OF A BOY AND GET YOUR LIFE ON TRACK. Then all 4 adults said how immoture I am plus Im a selfseeker and also desprately seek aproval of others thru my website and a life of lies and exagorations. OK I admit some of it. All this came out in therapy and counsling. Also how it all comes from poorself esteem. I started cryin a little and then ALLOT.

A change of Holiday plans

Then the old wench hoe cohabitant says THERE, THERE WALTER and you know she never calls me by my real name and she has this great idea that since we wont have electricoty for the Holodays we coud go up to Ft Worth to spend Christmos with her spinstor older sister plus her son Ed who lives there. Cause if we do that then Ed wont have to take the bus down. This is what the old manipoulotive witch wanted ALL ALONG. Its a big house with just her sister and Ed livin there and we coud stay until the 27th.

Granfater says WHY THATS A SPLENDID IDEA. My folks liked the idea too. The old troll NEVER used the word SPLENDED in his life. Phony bastord. Its like 8 hours up to Ft Worth from where we live. With stops for food and the old mans crapping its like 10 huors. So the morning ofthe 24th at 6am I gased up gramps Dogde Dart Swinger. Its a old 1970 wreck but has a real fast 8-cylnder motor.

Granfather still didnt break the habit of biting an lickin those sores on his back plus he coud contourt hiself now to reach the boils on his ass so he still hasto wear that big animol style cone shaped cardbord coller. Me an the old bitch covored the collor with red and green tin soldior design giftwrap and stapled on shiny gold ribben. Then I piled the 2 old circus sideshow spectacles in the back of the car and we head out.

The drive was a disastor