Walter Miller Homepage

At least Im not passin this crap off as 100% non-exagorated which is what some peoplle in the news do.

The first of two Updates for July 1998

Page 3 of 6


I need more therrapy

As you know I am in therappy and have been for years due to many emmottionol problems stemming from a poorself image stemming from a low self esteem stemming from an abusive rellationship with GRANFATHER. I have been seeing a therappist 2 times a month but now I just made it 3. But she and i had a big argumment and if I had my way it will go down to ONE time a month or perhapps ZERO.

To give you a litle history here, a few years ago I began therappy with a very nice counselor. I liked this one best of all. Atcually I liked her TOO much. I developp a crush on her. I knew this was wrong of me. Then, becuase I did not deal with it, it turned into love. When she coud tell that I was in love with her she had to STOP councilling me. It was very painfull. It was the kind of love that woud not work out becuase she is 14 years oldor than me. Also, some have said that i am very immature.

My new counseler who I am having sesions with now: She is an OK therappist I guess, but she also does stuff somtimes that makes me mad.

How my latest counciling sesion went

This is how all my sessions go: I drive to her house (she lives far away). Then aftor a few minnutes of small talk, a cup of tea, and saying Hi to her cute little kid who likes me allot, we go into her office. Once inside there, at the very instant I get my butt onto her couch, imeddiatly the tone of her voice changes from a freindly mom to a stern councellor. I cannot explain the voice. It is not a MEAN voice but it is a womon's stern businesslike voice -- the voice of persuasive disapprovol. You have heard this voice on PBS when they are havin a Membership drive and they start beggin for money in a polite but firm way. Or when you are in a New Enployee Oreintation Meeting on the first day of a new job and the person from H.R. gets up to start angrily readin off all the state laws agianst Sexaul Harassmant to all the new hires. My God take it easy. No one has sexauly harassed aneyone YET.

What the argumment with my counselor was about

She started tellin me that I shoud blame all my truobles on my PARENTS. I said why the hell shoud i blame my parrents, they didnt do nothin. She said YES, they did do somthing: They are making me care for Granfather.

Well it is more complicatted than that. I broke the law a few years ago and also misapropriated money and some of the money bellonged to Granfather. The dessision for me to come to Texas was worked out by my family and also the lawyors and courts.

But even still the counslor was saying that my parents must of also did stuff to victomize me and so she kept on atacking my dad and stepmom and tellin me that I had to stand up to them, and confront them. Perhaps they did stuff in the past that I am not sharing. If so, I was to stop blocking and start sharin. Because she said that THEY, and NOT Granfather, are the real villain here.

This got me SO pissed.

She will not say these words, but I know what is going on in her head: You see, she has met my parentts and knows theyre nice peoplle.

Also, shes met Granfather and knows hes a viollent disgousting horroble abusive beast. She has seen him. She has coght a whiff of the whiffy bastord.

Granfather even screamed at her once and I saw her face go white and knees buckol. (What he screammed: A perfect spitting, hissing immitation of that line from the movie "Star Trek: Generations" when Lursa the Klingon womon plants a tiny camera into Geordy's visor and then lator sees a closeup of Beverly's face:
"HU-MANN FEMALES ARE SO REPULSIVE!")
...Yet my counslor wants me to blame my parents!!

Why? Becuase it is easier to beat up on my dad and my stepmom rathor than Granfatther. It is the same reasen why the cops will pull over a guy going 10 miles ovor the speed limit but not 50 miles ovor the speed limit becuase it is easier to catch them.

I told her that she was being too danm Freudian here, and that she too woud rather blame my parents becuase she dosent have the nerve to confront Granfather. Becuase if she did, he woud take a bite out of her ass like he does to everryone else.

I give her an exampol of his craziness

As you know I use Hotmail as my email adress. So does the old basterd. The great thing abbout Hotmail is that diferrent people in the same strife-filled dysfunctionol, disharmonious household can all check there e-mail all in the same online session. Alls I do is click LOG OUT, and then Granfather types in his ID.

Well no more: now that Micrasoft boght Hotmail, whenevor you click LOG OUT it takes you to the danm Micrasoft homepage. You have to click STOP to make it stop loading, and then re-enter the URL for Hotmail. I dont know abbout you but I check my e-mail 3 times a day. I have NO NEED to visit the Microsoft homepage 3 times a day eithor. Well anyway a normol person might just bitch and moan abbout this but Granfather bellowed out in the most savage hollaring and murderrous violent threats of torture and dismemberment tellin me to:

"FIX THE DEE-FAULT, BOY, THE GARRDANG DEEE-FAULT"
...so danm loud that the sheriff came by because he actualy heard the howls from out on the state route a mile away at the head of our propperty by the mailboxes as he drove past with the windows rolled up, the air conditioinning on, and also an ear infection.

But what else can you ecxpect from Granfather? A man whose CAT Scan revealled that he has a brain the size of a Swedish meatball? (Pre-cooked weight). My counsellor said to me, "You are exagorrating again, Walter," and I said to her, "Mabye somtimes I do, but his time I am NOT."

I leave on a sour note

We did not resolve nothing. I asked her if Granfather was welcome to sit in on my next councelling session, just like my dad and stepmom somtimes do when they are visitting from California, and she said, "That is probly not a good idea," and then I said, "AHA!!".

This is becuase I happan to know that SHE TOO does not want to deal with him. One of the threatts Granfather made to me concerning my inabillity to fix the Microsoft/Hotmail "DEEfualt" problem was to shove the Tiger(TM) brand Ellectronic "Wheel Of Fourtune(R)" handheld cartrigde game that we got him last year as a gift so far up my ass and with such great force that every time I farted the "Wheel" theme song woud start to play and not onley that but every time I had to "Pass" I will also "Spin", "Solve", and "Buy A Vowel."

Things at my job arent doing good eithor.

I wrote in my last updatte that in the latest Cyberblop re-org I am now repporting to this annoying woman, this excessively perky, small toad faced womon who recentley rellocated to Texas from the Chicago office.

What a pain in the ass

My last boss, who was a much youngor man had an extremmly cruel way abbout him. (We call him 'The Nose picker' becuase he is always diggin for gold if you know what I mean). He is the one who encurraged me to eat the penguin molded out of lard which caused me to get embarasingly sick at a company Website rollout event and also played othor mean tricks on me. Oh and by the way, my old boss is not out of my hair: He has been prommotted and my new manager reports to him.

So, the chain of command is now as follows:

  • Me, (at the bottom)

  • ...who repports to the small toadfaced woman

  • ...who repports to the Nosepickor (my old boss)

  • ...who repports to The Lady Who Screamms At everyone (who I wrote about in past updates)

  • ...who repports to the Generol Manager of the whole location.

  • The Genneral Managor is this distracted old jowly guy who is realy no more that a tired old re-tread from Corporate, (who was abbout to be handed his ass by Corporate after 30 years of sitting on it while doing nothing, and who was exiled here to run this branch of the Cyberblop projject so he woudnt lose his danm seniorrity.)

    The cummulative I.Q. of this chain of commannd, (exepting my humbol self of course), adds up to a numerical whole number the total of which is equol to the combined inteligence and mental agility of a small soapdish. (With no soap in it -- mabye just a little of that liqiud slippy stuff)

    My old boss, the young mean Nosepicker, (and my new "boss's boss") has increassed his callousness due to his increased pride and posittion. He is also one of these addicted snot diggers who is is always cought with a finger way up his nose to, say, atleast the 2nd knuckol and who alwayes has an ecxuse for it. Like, "Oh, geez, Ive got this ingrown hair," or else, "What a place for a bee sting!"

    Now that hes been promotted to such a bigshot (a reward for kissing the G.M.'s ass I happan to know), all nose-picking shame is gone. He proudley works on that danm honker 24 hours a day as he has become one of these pathologgical mucas miners who eithor forgets he is doing it or does not freakin care that peoplle can notice. Infact shortley aftor his promottion I had the pleasure of seeing him in the mensroom peeing with his left hand, pickin his nose with his right, and with a cellphone balanced on his jughead jaw and shoulder hollerin into it at some poor lackey abbout "banner ad business models."

    The paradigm of Portals

    Pardon my industry hype here, but posibbly this graduol decrusting of boogers over time due to his incessant executive picking has opened up a doorway, a portal if you will, alowwing his small brain to receive the nourishmant of fresh air, thereby clearing the way toword an advanced career track and who the hell even knows perhapps more web hits.

    Both of my bosses are stupid. But geuss which one i hate more.