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Leggends in the Making (L.I.T.M.) first apeared in August 1996 and it was there that i explained how I got the name for it. The originol Legends are just as weird as the ones here so if you havont seen them yet by all means:
After reading it youll have to click BACK on your browsor to come back to this page your at now. The 1996 L.I.T.M. is 2 pages long and ends in a college paper someon wrote about me. Im happy to report that many, many othors have since wrote colege papers about me and I am regulorly studied as modern web literoture in college and highschool and even Gradaute School. (Pittiful, aint it).
Well, atcually, Im very PROUD. In fact what prompted me to write this latest issue of L.I.T.M. is the fact that i was just invitted to be the Guest speakor at a high school gradaution in Idaho. I am very shy in person so will probly submit a written statement that someone else will read. (I will write more about the Idahoe highschool gradduation in later updates as the time drawers nearer)
If you have a story of your own, please send it in by writing to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
In the meantime I have ben colecting stories and aneckdotes related to the Walter Miller home page for the past year, and they begin below.
Like most who write in, he asked i dont use his name. The item below is in a similar strand, uh, vein, rather...
On one ruotine call, they picked up an old patient with varrious problems (that I wont mention here), and one of the EMTs remmarked: "This has GOT to be Walter Miller's Granfather." The others started laughing uncontrolobbly, to a degree that one of the EMTs was unable to perform CPR. The patient survived but his family complained to the EMT superviser, and the guy who wrote me was suspended for 3 days with no pay.
Flattored as i was I respectfuly declined. Yes VERY respectfuly, in this age of Fatol Atraction and Lorina Bobit where a womon scorned somtimes results in a man TORNED. I dont regret my descision because being a net cellebrity coud also have its downside. Its possible shes just a Net groupie. Who knows if she makes the same offers with other glitteratti like the Grape Jam actors or the guys who built the Zima site or mabye the even the people who reveiw sotfware for C|Net....Wooo! ...There it goes again: I just got another shivvering willie.
Once again folks: We are NOT responsoble for humor-related injureis incured from laughin too hard at this website. Plus the man who wrote to me said he was not angry, plus he was already a smoker and is quite overweihgt. Once in the ambulance, he started thinking about Granfather's similar episodes and began luaghing more.
I told granfather about it and Im sorry I did because he growled "SERVES THE OLE LIMEY RIGHT," and then for next 2 days without a break he kept screamin out that anoying British ambuolance siren sound with a cigarete tight in his teeth:
When he rolls his wheelchair fast enuogh it even makes that cool Dopplor effect.
Of course I said YES, go ahead and write the song. I never heard from him again and woud apreciate it if any readers in the Rutgors/Princeton area woud let me know if they ever heard the song.
A student on Java (yes there REALY is a place) wrote to tell me he heard theres a new species of microspcopic bacteria life they found on flies who land on the flower and pick up pollen when they rub there asses on it. Aparently the scientists are regulor readers of this page and named the new bacterria Sarcomastigophora Vulgarris Patriatumwaltermillus which litoraly means somthing like 'disgiusting parasitic lowor life form resenbling Walter Miller's granfather.' That sounds koshor to me! Naming somthing for the old bastord is certanly par for somthing youd find on a fly's ass.
This email i got from Java was secondhand and unsubstatiated and Im therefour reluctant to post it but you know, what else is new arround here?