Walter's Miller's Homepage

The website that's both funny and original. (Unfortunatly, the part that's originol isnt funny, and the part that's funney isnt orriginol.)

The first of two Updates for July 1998

Page 2 of 6


Granfather's top Pick up lines (in public, and dirrected at female strangers)

  • WHOOEE! DO FRIES COME WITH THAT SHAKE?"

  • "THET THAR PURTY DRESS YOU'RE WEARING SURE WOUD LOOK RIGHT DANDY ALL CRUMPLED UP ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR."

  • JUST LOOKIN' AT YOU IS MELTIN' THE PLASTIC ON THESE HERE DIAPERS.

  • "LISSEN UP BABE, I AIN'T JUST 'MR. RIGHT', I'M MISTER RIGHT NOW!"

  • "BABY, I'M YOUR L-U-U-U-V BUFFET: SO TAKE ALL YOU WANT."

  • "WHOO, I'M ON FIRE, BABY! LEMME RUN THRU YOUR SPRINKLER."

  • "WHOOO-EEE! I KNOW MILK DOES A BODY GOOD, BUT HOW MUCH YOU BEEN DRANKIN', GIRL?"

  • "I GUESS BEIN' A MILLIONAIRE OILMAN DON'T MEAN MUCH WHEN YOU GOT SUCH A WEAK HEART."

  • "PARDON ME, IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?"
    (Granfather usualy says this while grabbin a womon's behind).

  • "DON'T THEY LOOK PURTY?"
    (Granfather usualy says this when he is very drunk, right aftor hammering bottle caps into his horroble leathery face with the heel of his hand for ornamentol purpoces.)

  • "I AIN'T FRED FLINTSTONE, BUT I KNOWS I COUD MAKE YOUR 'BED ROCK'"

  • "'S'CUSE ME, MA'AM. RESTAURANT SECURITY. YOU'RE TOO PURTY, AN' YOU'RE MAKIN' ALL THE REST O'THE LADIES LOOK BUTT UGLY. I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO ESCORT YOU OUT..."

  • "'EEP! OPP! ORK! AH-AH!'" THAT MEANS 'I LUV YOU'"

  • "WELL HOWDY THAR, MISS FAWCETT-MAJORS, WHUT BRINGS YOU TO OUR HUMBLE TOWN?"

  • "WUZ YOUR DADDY THET APPLE JUICE FARMER? HE MUST 'O BEEN, CAUSE I'D BET YOUR LAST NAME IS VERY FINE"

  • "'SCUSE ME, MA'AM, YOU DONE GOT SOME LIPSTICK ON YER TEETH. LEMME LICK IT OFF."

  • "TOO BAD I FERGOT MUH LIBRARY CARD, CAUSE I SURE DO WANNA CHECK YOU OUT."

  • "DAMN, WOMAN, YOU SMELL NEAR AS STANKY AS ME. LET'S TAKE A SHOWER TOGETHER."

  • "THEY SAY THIS PLACE IS A MEAT MARKET. YOU MUST BE THE PRIME RIB!"

  • "BOND. JAMES BOND"

  • "HEY--SOMEONE FARTED. LET'S GIT OUTA HERE."

  • "YOU MUST BE BELGIAN, 'CAUSE JEAN-CLAUDE-VAN-DAMM, YOU ONE FINE LOOKIN' GAL!"
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