Walter Miller Homepage
May 1996 Update
Page 2 of 4
Ive had ENOUGH of the old Basterd!!
Ive been having personal problems in my own rommantic life, and its been distractin me. It also urks me that granfather treats me so bad--irregardless of the money sitauation.
For exampel: Eastor Sunday, 1996: He hasnt crapped in eleven days. Theres a blockage like a baby hippoe up there, and you can atcually see it. Each day he cant go he gets meaner an meaner. Then, in the middel of the night, he starts screamin that NOW he has to go. I get him, wheel him in the john, and set him up on the pooper. He says, "It feels like a '51 Buick comming out sidewayes, so go get a rubbor glove, Walter."
The gloves are in a cabbinet way up on the top. There in a carboard box, like tisseus. I pull the top one out of the slot an put it on--and my hand goes into some stuff the same color an constituncey as buttorscothc pudding. It turns out that he crapped in there AN HOUR BEFORE while I was asleap, an put the glove and box back where they were. I turn around, and in shock I see that hes hauled himself off of the bowl, and was now squating over a basket of fresh laundry (MY laundrey). He has a strained look on his face an says, "Now for the oncore" as he lets the laviathon loose on ALL MY CLEAEN STUFF. He laughed so hard i thougt he woud have a stroke, and I wished it too. I had to clean him up, plus the laundrey and the whole bathroom. It took me three huors.
The last StrawWell After THAT eposode, Id had ENOUGH. So I told him that I wanted to leave and go bact to California. He got really angrey. He thretened to tell the authoritoes that I was abusing HIM if I ever decided to leave. I have NEVER comitted Elder Abuse--but certian situatons in the recent past have prejuddiced his case against the rest of the family concearning his acussations.
Which brings us to this week...
One spring mourning (like many times) I heard bloodcourdling screams come from inside the trailor where we live while I outside feeding the dogs. I was sure it was granfather yellin about something that wasnt life thretenning: Maybe he lost the TV remote. Perhaps we were out of cereal or whiskey. Maybe the bootleg porno channel on cable was coming in fuzzy, or maybe Clintin was on televisoin. (He hattes Clinton). Evry day its something else. Somtines he screams like that if Melrose Place is a rerun. His voice sounds as if Godzilla and Mothra both at the same time pissed on the train rail while stepping on it and were both ellectrocuted to death. When granfather screams, fiftey feet away, the license tags nailed to the barn will rattel from the sound vibbrations.
Sting attack!Well he cryed wolf too many times so I took my time goin back in. I fuond granfather on the floor halfway under the kitchon sink--screamnin like hell. What hapenned was that he had went out a few minutes before to one of the sheds where he was lookin at his collection of old iron machinary tools. He has thosands of them. But there are killer bees, real Texas killer bees in there and also scorpions. Hes ben stung so many times over the years he must be imunne.
Its hapenned beforeA few times he was covered with bees and I spreyed him with a fire extingouisher to freeze them and then called an ambuolance. This was the situation that I described in another update, about how a film crew came out to our place as part of the rescue team. They were going to show it on Resceu 911 or one of those shows, but granfather's nakad writhing body covered with bees, lumps and boils, plus his obscene screamin was too much--lets just say he was not "readey for prime time", and probably not even cable. One of the TV stations in another part of the state (so I heard) showed a five second clip of it and got a big fine from the FCC. That's how utterley disgusting the man is.
Sourgeon General Warning: Colecting can kill you