Walter Millers Homepage

"THEN WHAT THE HELL THEY'D HIRE YOU FOR, BOY?"
-- Granfather, July 5, 1997 reacting to a news headline "Pathfinder Begins Search For Intelligent Life."

July 97 Update

Page 4 of 7


In fact my sisterinlaw takes an extreme stand that Granfather should atcually die suffering. (She hates his friggin guts). The words and wishes of some of my family membors are shameful and in some ways as inhumaine as Granfather himself, i truly believe.

Things have escollated in recent weeks

And I did not write about all of it on my home page, but as of right now, Me, Dad, and my stepmom ARE NOT TALKING to my brother, his wife and both Uncle William and Uncle Zeke who live on the east Coast. (Uncle Willaim sent me the Tesla papers that have the excerpts at the begginning of this Update, thinking that I am my brothor--And Right this very minite he is giving my brothor a hard time about how enbarresed he is about my Homepage, becuase he thinks HE is ME).

Belive me: We are NOT Pro-Granfather

I am NOT taking granfathers side. I cannot stand the evil monsterous shreiking animol bastord.. But perhaps somwhere deep within the rancid smelling bone chillingly odoriferously rotted meat of his almost nonexistant heart, I truley believe that, perhaps, in just one deeply hidden cell of one small festoring boil on his misorable scraggly ass, there is one or 2 strings of DNA, within which those four oposing pairs of acids randomly configoure for at least one short, breif, microscopically tiny uniterrupted, barely redeemable segment. Yes, a stretch of DNA which resembles at least some form of a possible manifostation of living matter which is even remotley conected to somthing barely close to a life form that is almost related to a far distent ancestor OF A DANM HUMAN BIENG.

And becuase of THAT, he deserves to be given the chance to turn his life aruond. And to, for the first time, be acepted into the loving arms of his fammily. Reppulsive fowl-smelling birdbrained disgousting beast that he is.

My own Rommantic problems

Yes I have romantic problems, but atleast I am not being stood up on blind dates in other cities by strange Fifty-somthing women (I am talking about I.Q. range), that you meet over the internet. (Especialy those who have a face like an Orange Roughey with a glandulour deficeincy--I saw the .GIF she sent along to Granfather, and all I can say is: Woof.)

But even still Things have not ben going well in my own personal lovelife. First, if youve read my pryor updates you know Ive wrote in the past about the woman I love who is my former counselor. She had to stop counciling me becuase I had develop a crush on her. (This was not a childish crusch but true love.). Anyway I was tryin to put it all out of my mind for a long time now but then I actualy ran into her in the Mall. She broke up with her boyfreind but did not tell me this when I saw her.

Also most of the time when I see her I act foolish but i tell you this time in the mall I was cool, seruoisly.

Well lator on i found out she broke up with him so I called to ask her to see Men In Black somtime on the July 4 weekend. She was pissed and said I am NOT suposed to ask her out.

I guess thats a 'NO'.

And then I said, you know, somtimes if a VERY LONG enuogh time goes by it doesnt matter that at one time she was my councelor. And then its respectoble for you to be boyfriend and girlfreind and no longer a conflict of interest.

Then she said to me (but not in a cruel or mean way) that this was not necesarily true. Then I said I LOVE YOU but she told me (gentle but firm) it woud NEVER happen. Plus Im 14 years (not even) years youngor than her and this is a gennerationol problem. I didnt cry on the telephone with her which is a mark of maturity for me but later i did a little.

I know

I know. Even thuogh I am inproving all the time in allot of areas I have to get over this and get on with my life. Did you ever take a long car trip and you end up sharing personol stuff when you dont want to? Well in another poorley thuoght out decision as a result of a lack of self controle, on the trip from Austin back to our house that Thursday night I told Granfather the whole thing about calling my former counselor. I thought that sharing my feelings with the old bastord woud help us to be better freinds. I am trying always to open up to him. He is my granfather after all. Mabye hes not in the same Phylum, Class, Ordor or Species as the rest of us but were at least the same FAMILY.

I Pay the price for my Big Damn Moulth

The whole way home in the car Granfather yakked his ass off. There are 2 ways he tourtures you: One is his mean, mocking creul coarse joking mannor, making fun of you, taunting you and calling you names and then laighing his ass off in the Tails Of the Crypt shreiking laugh and then leaning ovor to smack you when your driving. This type of abuse I can actualy tolorate.

But the other way is when he gets into that pattronizing, high falutting, condessending superior tone endlessly lectuoring and hectoring you about 'BEING MATURE' and growing up and 'BIENG A RESPONSOBLE ADULT'. Yeah RIGHT.

Talk about 'Growing up':

This is a man who once swalloewed the cell phone ON PURPOSE after slathoring it up with Vaseline so it woud slide down his throaght better, and then called himself up on the other line just to see if he coud hear the phone ringing and if the sound of it changed when he flaired his nostrils open and shut.

But I eventauly got him to stop the lecture (It was a 4 hour ride). I made the simple threat of telling his ugly-squat-old-oversized-naugohyde-beanbag-chair-of-a-girlfreind back home that he was thinking of cheating on her. (While Granps was in Austin the old biddy was in the hospitol. She had been in an acident. I wont go into the details but lets just say it involved her soaring Texas-sized beehive hairdoo and a restuarant ceiling fan).

When I threatoned to fink on him Granfather said to me "LISSEN UP, BOY, I ONLY THUNK IT, I DIDNT DO IT". And then I told him that this didnt mattor becuase he PLANNED to cheat on her, but just wasnt ABLE to. He muttered said to me some crap about the spirit being willing and the Flesh bein weak and what finally shut up the old conniving liar (and this is what I told him) was that "the Spirit is willing, the Flesch is willing too, but the BICH NEVER SHOWED UP, GRANFATHER."

Just as well