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If granfather was one of The Munstors the whole family woud be "Marilyn" next to him.

Novembor 1996 Update

Page 8 of 8

On the way home in the shiping containor there was another episode near the Ohio-Pensylvannia border at a truckstop. The old beast was hosed down and fed. The lawyors also decided he was aloud a ten minute romp in a enclosed chain link pen which was also in the back of the truck. The driver went to get cofee and take a leak and no one knows how the back of the truck got opened again but when he came back these 2 stuppid kids were leaned into the back of the truck and they were leaned on there elboes pokkin sticks in the pen and you could hear granfathers growling in that low cainine trembly whine. His back was facing the kids and he was crouched on the far end of the pen eatin from his bowl an sudenly he reared around and sprang the whole 12 feet in one leap across the lentgh of the pen and landed with all fours plus his teeth simoultanously clatched onto the chainlink fence which dramatocaly reverborated just ONE INCH from the kids as he cletched it with all his wieght. The damn kids coud of REALY ben hurt. Someon had to wack his hornlike claws with a tire iron to make him unclasp it.

The trucker dropped off granfather 5 days later at our home. I let granfather out of the carryer and gave the driver his check. He was visibbly shaking cause he told me that granfather made the Braves indien howl for 5 days straigigt without a break.

Strange Change

The old basterd bounded out of the box and scampered arround our junkyard yelping barking and sniffing our dogs asses for a few hours before he collapsed cold and i brought him in. I told you in recent months granfather is undorgoing a strange biollogicol metastosizing and metamorphicol change. There are some hidden mystereis in his childhood and young adult life we are just finding out about and I will share them in later updates. Some strange men in dark siuts were trespassing yesterday and tryed to take pitcures of our property and granfather got his shotgun and hollered at them firing a few shots over there heads. Im beginin to believe Im realy living with a real live X-file.

Re-WIRED under a new compramise

This morning both lawyers called us and now said it was OK for Granfather to still read the Novembor Wired Magazine but first i must censor out any dirty pitcures with a pair of sisscors. At least on my PC monitor i can make nude pitcures grainy without his knowlege but as you live with him you begin to relize it doesnt matter: YES love may be blind but lust can still determine shapes.

Hes getting smarter and is typing in filthey words in search engins on the web. He knows to corectlt put in the ANDs and NOTs. Hes become a friggin Boolian algebra expert. We may have to get Net Nanny for the old letcherous troll. If so Ill be there only custemer who bought it for the use of someone 2 generations older than the buyer.

Granfather realy enjoyd the Wired article about the Suck guys. In fact at the begining of the peice when Josh is driving Carl and Joey to Santa Cruze California becuase they shot The Lost Boys there the old basterd recounted a story to me that i tryed very hard to repress from my memmorey but alas he made me recall it.

I was six years old an we were at that same ammusement park in Santa Cruz. Alferd Hitchcok's The Birds was also filmed there and an me and my brother were on a big old Feriss Wheel with granfather who was visiting us from Texas. The whole night before we went he scared the hell out of us with The Birds storeis like tellin us to be sure to keep our zippors up or a bird might fly in there and nip our little shweens. In fact he said thats why they even called it a FLY: to keep THE BIRDS OUT. And when the car we were in stopped at the top of the Feriss wheel the old gristtly basterd started makkin the thing rock violently and twirl completely around while screamin: AAAH!! WATCH OUT FOR THE BIRD SHIT! AAAHH!!. They had to stop the ride. He had a can of Coco Lopez with him and he put some in his moulth an squirted it at us sayin HERE COMES THE BIRD SHIT. Plus he squerted the stuff and also hacked giant loogys at the people down below on the ground PLUS ON US. So i geuss you could say not onley did Hichcock FILMED there granfather PHLEMMED there. Me an my brother were frihgtened and started cryin. When the ride ended my dad was real pissed at him and the old basterd lauhged his ass off the whole way back to our house. We drove back home on the 17 that had lots of construtcion on it back then an you know how fast people always drive on it an I got sick an vomated. This story sortof describes my childhood with the mean old basterd in a nutshell.

See you next month
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