To hell with profits: Whoevor gets the most hits wins.
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As you know I write a weakly colunm for Time-Pathfinder's The Netly News.. Yes, i am known as a minor Internet celebritty. (The way I see it, God help the internet if a loser like me is a cellebrity on it.)
I am still going to be writing the Netly colunm, but instead of doing so as an enployee, i will be doing it a freelancor.
What has hapenned to the rest of my job, where I do 20 hours a week of coding and programming? I will tel you: I am being traded to anothor company in ecxhange for a used file server.
It seems that I am a crappy programmor and prone to making allot of mistakes and coding errers. Thats why I am being traded. YES it is hummilliating. But atleast I will get to still write the Netly colunm--for the time being. Despite my trademarked crappy spelling and ofton lame sence of humor, my colunm does get one of the larger amounts of hits on the Netley website. (OK, I am bragging: It is in the top 95% of all Netly features).
Then there are those who I say that I am who I say I am, and that my work is an embelished semi-fantacy created to ellicit sympathey for my living hell of serving as an unwilling caretaker to my mutant, non-hueman and virtually decomposing abusive grandfather.
Well i will not coment on any of that.
But I will say two things: One is that I am a big exagorrator. I willnot explain that statement. You will just have to take it at face valeu.
The main areas of over-exaggoration in my life include:
- My pre-ocupation with the over inportance of the Internet in today's society
- Exaggoration of my own sence of self-inportance
- Hype: So peoplle pay atention to me and my website
- Exxagoration of my talent, knowlege, and abilities.
Perhapps when the internet bandwith can handle Smell-O-Vision will the world truely know. Of cource, by that time, my sence of smell will be totally destroyed anyway.
Half of my job at Netly is writing and editing, and the other half is data entrey and coding. This 20 hours of coding for Netly is being traded to anothor company in ecxhange for a used file server. In othor words, I will work 20 hours for the other company, and Netly gets the server.
To add to my shame and disgrace and hummilliation I was mortified to learn that after my first week with the new company, they were displeased with my pefformance, and wanted to back out of the deal. So Netly felt obbligated to sweeten the transaction by throwing in a pile of Netley logo crap, including mousepads, basebal caps and cofee cups, plus two lazer cartrigdes, and a half-of-a-box of T-Shirts that said:
I S U R V I V E D
THE 3Q '97 RE-ORG
AND ALL I GOT WAS
THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT
The thing that pisses me off most abbout the deal is that I am the only in the whole danm deppartment who never even got one of those T-shirts. Back in the 3rd Quarter, I asked the Site Managor why and he told me: "Walter you survived this re-org by such a slim mardgin of the barest hair of your ass, that for you to get one of these T-shirts woudnt even be funny."
I am not alowed to mention the name of the new company I am working for, so for these purrposes I will refer to it as "Cyberblop, Inc."
I am going off on a tangent and I appollogize. Netly and 'Cyberblop' only found out abbout each other because we were fighting with them over parking spaces. Later, as fate woud have it, the two companies became freindly last summer, as the result of an unusuol "Granfather-related incodent."
What hapenned was this: The old bastord and his girlfreind (at the time) were returning from playing Bingo at the Indien Reservation, and they dropped in because the old basterd "had to go."
Well, nevor wanting to miss an opportunnity to humiliate me at work, Granfather had the old hag purposely drive to WHERE I WORK so to drop his load.
But that isnt all he missed: Granfather had went inside Building 2 insted of Biulding 4 and polluted their bathroom instead of Netly's. He toasted the place so bad that both the men's and ladies' room of the company known as 'Cyberblop' were unusable for a whole week, and Netly offored to let them use our bathroom.
And just this week, like so many realignments and incestuous corporate aliances in this industrey, the 2 companies came to this agreement to trade me off withuot even consulting me.
I will write more about my new job later in this update. But first:
Many thanks to Nick in Pensylvania and Manny in Ontarrio Canada who are helping me organnize my mail--they do not read my e-mail, (only I see it); but they both are helping me keep track of it all.
Also atention certain ladies:
I do not know how to say this delicattly so i will just speak bluntley. Some of you have asked recently if I woud be willing to entertain pasionnate rellations with you in chat. While i thank you for your interrest, I feel that I must decline all offors for grattuitous digitol titilation at this time. I hope you undorstand.
Personol to Barb in Conecticut: If you continuolly dislike my spelling "as a romantic turn off" the way things are right now, then what the hell do you think will happan to my abillity to type corectly with all of the distractions that coud possibbly arise within a steamy conjugal chatroom? Aneyway, this is my way of saying PLEASE tak a cold showor.
OK, enuogh of this adminnistrative crap. It is time to focus on the main atraction: Which arround here, hapens to be the sideshow atraction.