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If you touch somethin while here be sure to wash your hands

Sept 96 Update

Page 6 of 7


Grandfather starts in again with his fake crying about how hes the victim of elder abbuse. The cops said TURN OFF THE WATERWORKS POPS AND TELL YOUR STORY WALKING. When the cops left granfather really had it in for my poor brother. The old beast made that low, gurgling threatenning voice that he does. He told my brother he hates him more even than he hates me. He told him that when he was sleepin he would cut him up with the Gardon Weasel an sell all his body parts out over the internet to bootleg organ dealers in the Far East he found on the Web except for his brain which was useless an surely the size only of a cocktail weenie. That he woud feed to one of the dogs.

The threats begin

My brothers trying to get a morgtage so he has to keep a clean record. But granfather didnt care an said YOULL OBAY ME BOY OR ILL CALL THEM COPS MYSELF ILL DO IT RIGHT NOW GODAMMIT. Then he ordered my brother to go to the store for him NOW an get him some whiskey and maccaroni and cheese and some Nascar trading cards and pogs and also some smokes and TO USE HIS OWN MONEY, (he woudlnt give him none), or hed spend the night on a cot compliments of the county.

Of course he obeyed

By the time my brother got back it was ovbious that granfather had been ingrossed in deep thought. He was sitting there like a very civilized mean skinney toad on the wingback chair, his head was cocked to one side. A filthey magazine was on his lap, his tapering twisted hands with their long hornlike nails were folded and his boney legs crossed, very dignified, and lookin like hes ready to friggin host Mastorpiece Theater.

He bore a stare into my brother thru his slitlike poisonous yellow eyes as he quietly annuonced that hed selected from the vast reportoire of evil in his heart the way in which hed get even with him for that days shenannigons and also the coumulative incidents which had bred there hatred for one another.

I had seen this pedantic, erudite diabollical side of granfather only once or twice before an my brother told me he was so scared he was crappin in his pants just thinkin about what he might do.

Just wait till midnight, Boy.

Thats all he said--wait till the Whitching Hour. And then he was quiet the whole rest of the day. As usual granfather ate the macaroney an cheese my brother bought for him RAW--first he tosses his head back and pours the dry noodles in his moulth that he chews with a crackling noise and belching, heaveing swallows. Then he eats the dry flouressent orange powdor in the foil pouch that he licks an slobbers with heaving slourping noises, mashing his prehensile, reticullated tounge into every corner an creviss until all the air is sucked out. Yes this is how he eats his macaroney and cheese.

Once, when I was there, he got the foil pouch stuck on his tongeu from suckin too hard. It got stuck because it made a perfect vacuume and the blood circulation got cut off. He passed out an I had to peal it off after scoring it with an eXacto blade. The tongue was blue underneath.

Its a no-name brand of macaroni and cheese and there 3 for a doller. He eats all three boxes a row just like that. I cant say it enough times: Hes an awful desgusting man.

My brother coudnt sleep at all and sweated nervously at what woud happen. At midnight exactly he hears granfather mumble from inside his room and the mumbling grew to a loud noise with a vageuly familiar beat.

HEEEY Macarana.

My brothers a tough guy in the militery. But that one night when he called almost in tears an said PLEASE COME BACK WALTER he held up the phone an i could see why. Granfather was singing the stuepid Macaraina song. I said how long's he been singing it an my brother said 32 HOURS WITHOUT A BREAK, day and night plus he does the arm movements.

Also when your supposed to change positions in the dance he hops up the whole wheelchar in the air an lands it in a different position. The whole goldang trailer shakes. The scarey part is that it sounds like its all in one breath because he breathes thru his nose while singing in an unbrokken shreiking chattering bloodcourdling tune. When he gets to the part that says HEEY macaraina, all the dishes in the drainboard rattle for the "HEEEY" which is superhumanly loud.

Dad steps in

More hurt feelings