Walter Miller Homepage -- SPECIAL POLITICOL UPDATE
Part II: Granfathers political brushes with fame

George Bush

In 1970 Bush was a Texas congressmen and he ran for Senate but lost to Loyd Bensen. He was givin a speech in a nearby town an granfather was there heckling him from the crowd. I think it was about the bobming of Cambodia. Whatever the issue was both him an Bush agreed on it, not disagreed but it didnt matter cause granfather was in a heckling mood. The two of them ended up screamin at each other. Bush didnt curse but came close. Granfather hacked a loogie at him an Bush moved away just in time and it hit a staffer in the forhead. My old evil ancestor was escorted away by a sherrif and once he was out of range he laughed like crazy.

Later in 1988 granfather went to a Bush fundraisor in the same town an granfather mentioned the incident to him. Bush remembered and they both had a good laugh.

Gerold Ford

Granfather loves to heckel. He drove 2 hours to where Ford was givin a speech in the 1976 campaghn just to heckel him but then got another idea in his warty knobby evil head. As usual Ford tripped and fell flat on his ass. Ecxept this time if you look at the film in slow-moe throu a special filter of cheesecloth an mousquito netting you will see a skinny shadowy figuore on a nearby grassey knoll expectorrating a stream of viscous tobbaco jiuce right in the path of the poor hapless president to make him trip an fall in both dog crap AND gum.

The Secret Servoce detained an questioned granfather an so did Mr Ford who insisted on meeting such a strikingly ugly man. They released granfather cause they coudnt believe no human could spit tobacco juice 300 yards.(Uh, they were right cause granfathers not human)

Also Ford who we all know was never the brightest flame in the Presodential candelabra innocently yet uncouthley asked granfather how he got to be so damn creepy lookin. Granfather answered YEARS OF DRINKIN AN SMOKIN. Suposedly Bettey Ford was there too and decidded to open the Betty Ford Clinic after seein what substants abuse can do to you.

The next day on TV Ford was once again made to look like a fool for fallin on his ass but this time it was really granfathers fualt.

Clinton

In the 1972 presodential campain allot of democrat precinct leaders didnt like MacGovern. Granfather atended a meeting in a Holiday Inn out on I-10 in south texas thats not there anymore. Clintom was only about 25 then but was McGoverns Texas chairmon. The future Prez took 4 of the tougher precinct men out to a roadhouse for some beers--granfather included. They werent convinced about McGovorn but yet were impressed with the eager young man. Granfather (so he claims) touseled Clintons thick hair with his gnarled clawlike hand and even gave Clinton right from his own pocket his very favorite upside-down nakad-lady ballpoint pen, where you turn it upsidedown and the ladys liquod bathing suit slides off. He still has the pen cause I saw him signin a bill with it on CSPAN the other day

Granfather says there were lots of wild college women in the bar that night an 2 people in the party got luckey as they say but one of them wasnt clinton even though he was tryin the hardest.

Also Texas went for Nixon that year an granfather claims credit.

Jimmy Carter

This is a recent one and i an my brother was atcually there for it. In the summer of '89 Rosylen and Jimmy an a whole danm slew of secret service men came to our home. They were scoutin out possible cantidates for his Habotat for Humanity project. (ALOT of people in our area sugessted granfather's place, lemme tell you.)

But aparently our home was too far gone for rehabilataton. However Granfather said if they gave him $50 they didnt have to fix it up and instead coud just take a pitcure of it that they coud use as a 'before' shot for their brochures and then use something else as the 'after' shot, and for an extra $50 he promised he wouldnt tell no one. The carters declined. They were disgusted by granfather.

You coud tell they wanted to get the hell out of there fast. Lets just say our home dosent have that special Martha Stewert touch. One of the secret service men had to take a leak real bad and Mr Carter said YOU BETTER NOT DO IT HERE and that if he did, hed see that he got demoted and spent the rest of his career walkin the Quayle's dog.

On his way back to the car Jimmey muttered that durin his adminstraton they wouda got the frikkin EPA after granfather for operating a toxic dump and after death he should be stewed in a jar of Fromaldehyde and kept in the basement of the Smithsonian as some sort of alein curiosity. Carters the olny president who believes in UFOs.

Granfathers brushes with Kennedy, Hoover, Nixon