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Theres ALWAYS a chronic, congenitol puetrid odor about him--this was the combustable version of it. It smelled JUST like when you do a Holloween prank and get a papper bag and put dogshit in it an light it and leave it on someones porch and run away. Thats the only other time I remember that smell.
There was 3 EMT's and one got overcome by the fumes. I overheard one EMT say that someone should report him to the State as a living, breathing friggin EPA violation. Lately he smells so bad Ive started been using airplane soap, yes airplane soap.
I buoght the soap over the internet plus I use a wire toilet brush on the miseroble old troll's nakad body just to get him clean. I did it the first time the other day. Amazingly he doesnt mind and says it just scraches a little and helps his itching. I make a paste of it with Ajax, pine oil concentrate and bakin soda and slather it all over his revolting clammey skin with a spackel knife and a wooden cement paddle.
I do these strong washings in the yard and I put the TV by the window so he can watch. Then I hose him off with denatored alchohol with the Sears power sprayor.
When ever I want to do any kind of heavy chemical cleaning on him I wait until one time of day when the pourno channel on cable sort of unscrambels itself all by itself. This was my oportunity. Pornoe distracts him so much he probly woudnt need anestesia for opeanheart surgury if he was watchin it. When he starts shaking an screaminn for me to put the TV on, I know its time to get the chemicals.
Then granfather concontrates his atention on the half-scrambled images. My dad has a saying about him: love is blind but lust can determine shapes.
To tell the truth the TV signal is still so wiggley on the screen I really cant see any difference. But not this damn hourny man. He gets ecxited watchin the flirtey couple in the friggin Tastor's Choice comercial.
Meanwhile at the hospitol...
In 4 hours later he was home, had took Tyelenol and had took a nice nap and was verbally abusing me again as usual. It was remarkably like nothing hapenned. I think he wanted it that way becuase he was dying for me to drive him to that antiqeu auto flea market and was on his 'best' behavior which for him means modorate abuse.
That night he woke up hollering for me to haul him up on the crapper. He was mad cuase he slept threu Wheel Of Fortone and I didnt wake him. But the evil sense of humor was there. He started making fun of me by recitting from memory a love letter and poem i wrote to the woman i love. I had hid it in my sock drawer but he snuck in there one day and found it. He knew it from memory and HE ONLY HAD READ IT ONCE TOO.
CONTINUED: No grammys for gramps