FALL 1997 WEDGIE PAGE UPDATE
Bruoght to you by Walter Miller Home Page(TM) Productions(R)
A Wedgeographical Tour:
'Hike' across the USA and salute each Region's Wedgies

THE SUOTHEAST U.S.

West Virginia

Dear Walter,

After reading through all of the wedgie lore, I was surprised to find no mention of the CONTINENTAL. I grew up in Huntington, West Virginia, where there is a really nice city park, but the employment opportunities have been in serious decline since the seventies.

At Huntington High School, when you grabbed a classmate's underpants and yanked them out the back, it was called a CONTINENTAL. So named, I presume, for the victims resemblecne to one of those big cadillacs with tail fins.

Mr. C. from W.Va.

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Dear Mr. C.

My dad (whose not an expert) tells me that The Continnental of the 60s and 70s had a round, Batmobile-like thing centtored on the rear tailgate, with a small torpedoey lookin thing in the middle of it. Also it was a Ford product, not a Cadilac. Howevor, if things were as depressed in those days as you say, then surely neithor car was common in your area, (plus the proper ID of a car's rear woud be low on the list during the panicked traumma of gettin your shorts DEPRESSED up your OWN rear.)

When dad was a kid the Edsels came out and boy if you got "Edseled" it hurt like hell. Now THAT old car realy LOOKED like a Wedgie. Granfather owned one. It had "push" transmision.

Your freind,
Walter

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Virginnia

Dear Walter,

I met my boyfriend because of a wedgie! I was at a party freshman year at UVA and I noticed a very attractive man who happened to be very conceited. I spoke to him for a while and then he rudely turned his back to me. On impulse I wedged the daylights out of him. The next day he saw me and asked me out. He is so pretty (for a man) and told me he is used to women falling over him. So getting a wedgie was a big surprise! That was our first and last wedgie. Call it the "Virginia Wedgie". The tourism office used to have a slogon "Virginia is For Lovers." No more wedgies for us, but we do make love twice every night, first thing each morning, and once in the middle of the day between classes...

Miss J., Charlottsville VA

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Dear Miss J.,

OK young lady, we will have none of that here! You will notice that only the first 10% of your rathor expliccit and steamey note to me got pubblisched. Remember, this is a childish webbsite--NOT an adult webbsite. Howevor, I othorwise DO thank you for your wedgie story.

Your freind,
Walter

P.S. None of the wedgies i evor got ended up so good. Your boyfreind sounds like a luckey guy...OH CRAP!!

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Florida

Dear Wedgieboy,

There are 2 type of Florida wegies:

Homestyle and Regular style.

Regular is plain and juicy but Homestlye has jucy bits of pulp. In Georgia they use peaches.

Mr. Q

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Dear Mr. Q.

Thank you for your informattive if not inelaborrate breakdown of wedgies in the Sunshine state.

Your freind,
Walter Miller

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Allabama

Dear Walter,

Alabama is true Wedgie country. Up north we have Huntsville where all those rocket scientist geeks are into Dilbert and, therefore also wedgies.

In the southern part of the state we grow cotton and it gives the truest meaning to "someone gave me a cotton pickin' wedgie!"

And in the center of the state we have the Crimson Tide. (After an "Alabama Slamma" wedgie you will need some "Tide" on your underwear!)

I really enjoy your page and it brought back memmories of growing up with my little brother and giving him high wristies. Oh, to hear him squeal again

Sincerely,

Miss N.,
Birmingham, Ala.

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Dear Miss N.

You are a gracuious Suothern lady and i thank you for your note....Howevor i ask, are your poor BROTHOR'S memories as fond?

Your freind,
Walter Miller

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Wedgies in the MIDWEST U.S.