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Dear Walter,
It has been explained to me by my boyfriend that wedgies in English boarding schools are much more cruel and unusual than those in American grade schools, (showing that the sick, twisted sex life of the British starts somewhere before age 9). It also involves more personal contact, which is why I prefer the US method.

The British boarding school boy's wedgie goes something like this: Place hands firmly together in the classic prayer position. Sneak behind your unsuspecting prey; notice how the angular, wedge-like formation of the hands matches the slightly parting area at the bottom of the buttocks. Swiftly and strongly ram your hands, in a mostly upward motion, into the victim's crack. Unlike the US method, underpants are not necessary in the British wedgie. However I do not recommend the method without them. (See Fudgie Wedgie on your own wedgie page) You can wield much more power if the victim is ascending stairs ahead of you. I hope this gives an international spin to the wedgie information you so generously provide to the public.
J. in South Africa

Dear J.
Thanks for writin from lovely Africa. It shows how coloniel imperial institutions (i.e., wedgies) still linger in former colonys. For example a gentlman in Nigeria wrote to say that wedgies were unknown on his continent til the days of British colonys. I liked your note. Has anyone evor said you have a nice writing style?

Below, in a similor vein, is from somone from a British Comonwelth nation now living in Korea.
Walter


Hi!
Saw your page and thought I'd share how kids here give out nasty butt surprises. There's more "hands on" involvement that's pretty gross. First, make a pretend gun with your hand: Both hands together with the last 3 fingers interlaced making a "double handhold" gun. Then you sneak up on unsuspecting people bent over for some reason and poke them right up the butt.

It's icky, but that's how it's done here. There are a few local children who are lucky to be alive after doing it to me. Apparently the Mormon missionaries on regular daily rounds are consistent targets.
-- A. in Korea

Dear A.,
Your note ends on yet another bold exampol of inocent Westerners paying the price for their own prior generations' unwitting exportation of Wedgies to other peoples, in whose originol cultures Wedgies were not indigenous.

I geuss: What goes around comes around and not only that somtimes it ends up up your ass. Thanks for writin!
W.M.


Walter
At age 18 mybrother who owns a tow truck hooked me by my boxers hoisting me 4 feet in the air. everyone laughed but me. To this day i cant see a tow truck or a towtruck driver and not feel hatred.
G. in Fla.

Dear G:
Im reminded of the words Lional Jeferson once told Archy Bunker: Mr Bunkor always remember never judge a entire gruop of people by the actions of a few. I feel those words are apropriate now. Sir, theres many kind towing industry people who limit there hooks to cars and not peoples asses. Please deal with your hurt. Thanks for writin.

Walter


Walter:
I've enjoyed The Wedgie Page, but must comment on how the entire subject among girls and women has been utterly ignored. I realize wedgies are traditionally an act of domination and humiliation among boys, but my expereince and sense say that the practice is proliferating among females. Locker rooms, for example, are now fertile wedgie territory for females (since Title 9 legislation in 1972) as girls in huge numbers participate in sports.

Their increased presence in societal positions of influence from colleges to corporate boardrooms now places women in situations of intense competition both with other women and with men. With the sense of competition comes the occasional need to intimidate and engage in acts of domination and humiliation of one's rivals. In short, situations and feelings that would give rise to wedgies have, unquestionably, been proliferating among women.

And so, I ask you to issue a special invitation to women to write to this page of their various stories of both giving and receiving wedgies.
L. in NY

Dear L.
Well ill be danmed. And they say no one onthe internet is inteligent! I took your coments (and others like them) to heart & theyre reflected thruout this Update: No more glass cielings here--And heres to 'higher upword mobility' to the pink-collared, er, make that pink-waistbanded. Many thanks,

Walter

P.S. Granfather says he thinks your probly very cute. But please dont feel overly flattored--The old basterd has VERY low standords when it comes to womon.


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