If one parent worked for an "A" and the other a "C" you were still branded with the lower "C" by default acordin to the creul law of the savage mean streets of our pleasent treelined bedroom conmunity.
My skinny ass and sheepish personality (iregardless of even if my Dad worked for an "A"--he did not) sealed my fate as a most wedgie worthy target ie., fresh meat for all bullies.
One bully named Sonny was half my size but mean & strong. Hed atcualy ring my doorbell, somtimes even during supper. I woud answor the door, turn arround and acept my punishment. I insisted on this arangment cause otherwise hed do it in the playground in front of prety girls or else chase me around the neihgborhood & jump out of bushes and ambush me. Sometimes durin supper my mom woud ask WHOS THAT AT THE DOOR WALTER? I was forced to reply: "No one", or else "Just the Jehova Wittneses."
The last wedgie I ever got from Sonny: Only last year! I was visitin my famly & borowed my dads car & got a flat tire on the 101 right by the 85 ramp. Sonny drove past me then bactracked to where I was and while i was bent over said HI WALTER THIS IS FOR OLDTIME SAKE and he yanked me.
Fresh stains? Apply cold water or clubsoda then blot with a rag before washing;
Heavy doody: The same, but follow by aplication of Stain-Stick; let it sit atleast 24 hours.
Use as dirrected. Repeat if necesary; Works best with 100% cotton crotch; In case of synthettics, weaves or blends, your out of luck.
If stain remains after 1st wash, let AIR DRY before re-washing; you dont wanna bake that stuff on, and THATS what a hour in a hot dryer will do. If fudge makes it up to the elastic, stretch out on a flat surface & rub with bakin soda & toothbrush GENTLY. (Not a toothbrush youd want to use for aneythin else).
Hope this helps. INPORTANT: After Stain Stickin your shorts for ovornight, put them in the hampor--NOT back with the clean clothes by mistake. If you wear them after a few huors' contact itll burn the skin rihgt off your ass.
Well, I have 1 thing to say: I HEAR YOU. While we do have a new USA section, the web IS global and what isnt adressed in this update will be rectumfied in the future.
Remember folks, The Wedgie Page does NOT belong to Walter Miller--it bellongs to YOU. (Althogh IM the one whose ass is stung for sins of Wedgie omission...Come to think of it my ass is stung for sins of wedgie CO-mission as well).
Below is some prank mail--ALL from the same guy, and all within one 24 hour period: (an some people tell ME to 'Get a life'.).
Still got same problem. Bullies give me dangling wedgies everyday for 10 minutes unless I do their homework. What do I do?
-- Mr. X, New York
Got a Bonus Wedgie today. I bent down at the water fountain and some GIRLS pantsed me. They lifted my bare cheeks into the fountain and pored water on my ass.
-- Mr. X, N.Y.
Took your advice--wore overalls today. I got laughed but almost got through the whole day without a wedgie. I was jumped after school. They stripped me and gave me a wedgie. Major disapointment since I was sure I was safe. They ran off with my overalls. I had to duck behind bushes all the way home with cotton crammed up my ass. Im still thinking about designs for wedgie-proof briefs.
-- Mr. X, N.Y.
Dear Mr X.,
You need a stainles steel chastity belt or alunimum jock. With all these wegdies how the hell do you have time to crap!