Carefuly picked & plucked from the bowels of Wegdie Page e-mail archives, heres a few furtive hidden nuggets of regionol Americana:
In this region we find Butts (30442) and Snapfinger, GA (30035), Blackburn (72959) AR, and Alabama's serendipotosly named Pulltight (35548), Boar Tush (35565), and, (depending on your pre-wegdie eats: Burnt Corn 36431). But they all pale in color & wash out easy compared to what my Tulane fans write of the famous Louisana Hot Spice Wedgie.
First developed in Cotton Valley (71018), wheted to new hieghts in Brown Heights (70714), and ultamately perfected in Crackville (71327), in this cursed incursion, Wegdie Bosses sprinkle cajin spices in your shorts before you get the shrift.
Also called a 'Brown Pelicon' for the State Bird, theyre extremly populor at Mardy Gras. So be careful out on Buorbon St. when your drunk and other partygoers ask you to flash them your ass in exhange for those beads & tokens. Its NOT worth it.
Subway riders are proudly called Strap Hangers. Theres a big park named 'Battery' and how do you get to it?--Drivin thru a TUNNEL. And finaly acording to my readers, Wall St. has a high number of 'Upwordly Mobile Jerks' so there you have it.
While theres no proof to the legend Albany is a contraction of old Dutch "All-By-Hiney" the home state of Joey BUTTofuco is home tothe famed Dead Man Walking Wedgy. Its the one the victim DARES NOT PLUCK OUT lest he be re-wedgied. He walks around 'packed' all thru gym class while the weggie giver points & brags at his work. Victims keep it in to avoid another, & must also anounce his presence by cryin out: "Dead Man walkin!" In the creul but tempored law of the streets no one else can give him a wegie--at least not till after gym.
New Yorkors can be rude but youd never know it from the frendly Wedgie related email I get from places like Browns Hollow (13317), Wedgewood (14891), Surprise (12176) and Hyndsville (12043).
Sick of harsh NY State Wedgie Taxes? Vote with your feet--commute in from atractive New Jersy locales like Buttzsille (07828), Pluckemin (07978) or park your butt in Conneticut's Puddle Town (06022).
In this clear mountian air, Hygiene (80533) usualy rules, but theres still the ocasional Burns (80426) in Colorado, the light stain of Burnt Water (86512) or Upper Greasewood (86507) in Arizona, & a quick mean trip to Incline Village NV (89450). Utah's religgious foundors were right naming it The Devil's Slide (84050).
The wedgy-sparse West is, howevor, home to Granfather's personol favrite: Idaho's town of Slickpoo (83524).
One, the whole Grunge scene: Yes, 'grunge' is a hidden wedgy metafore...
Two, the TV show Frazier, whose centrol actors are most wedgie worthy: They say Niles has overtook Bil Gates as the Washigtonian most Americans wish they coud 'wedge'
.And finaly in lovly Seatle a plethora of unique 'local color' emerges of late: Like the 'Expresso' (small, bitter, dark); The 'Latte' (mild--leavs a light stain); the 'Mocha Latte' (same, but more choclaty); The Capuchino, (this one makes a odd slurpy noise in your pants).
Plus the combonations: its fun to overhear erudite Seattlites pedanticly discus things in public like the "Half Mocha Robusta Darkroast Latte Expreso."